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How does it fit?

Like a slinky tank dress — fits your curves, but not skin-tight.

How is it sized?

Please consult the guide.

How do I care for it?

Hand wash cold, line dry, cool iron.

Vital Statistics

  • Dress length (measured from shoulder strap): XS=31", S=32", M=33", L=34, XL=34 1/2".
  • Two neckline options (either side can be worn as the front): scoop-neck or crossover deep V-neck.
  • Fabric: shimmering, highly breathable disconium (poly/spandex).
  • Side slit and black-tricot bodice.
  • Made in San Francisco.
disco mini ball gown graphic

Women's Shiny Silver Disco Ball Gown

Slinky, Sexy, Cornea-Searing

We certify that every Disco Mini Ball Gown is made from 100% pure disconium, the rarest, shiniest substance in the known universe — traditionally used to make the world's very finest disco balls.

Don't be fooled by synthetic knockoffs made from cubic disconium. And stay clear of clothiers who insist that Disconite™ Gowns are equally lustrous. Sure, they sparkle, but they also smell like rotten octopus.

Why is this gown so special? Because genuine disconium ore is found in only one place on Earth: an icy subterranean cavern deep beneath the most remote corner of Antarctica. While we can't divulge details of our mining operation, rest assured that the thousands of Emperor Penguins in our employ are well-fed and receive regular bathroom and cigarette breaks.

Here's some more important information:

  • Disconium is the 120th element on the periodic table. It's heavier than neon, funkier than palladium, and significantly sexier than Einsteinium.
  • When you slip on a Disco Mini Ball Gown, stone-age tribesmen may worship you as their omnipotent sun-goddess. Don't disappoint them.
  • Warning! The magnetic properties of this garment increase exponentially when exposed to any party-like environment, creating an irresistible attraction between you and nearby lips, liquor, and licentious behavior. The Disco Mini Ball Gown is available for a limited time — and only at ( Click here to check out its full-length friend)
disco mini gown read up

Better Than

Fresh Camel Milk

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