Betabrand Presents: Custom Hoodies for Companies, Clubs, & Cults

Special hoodies for your special ops unit, extreme Model Citizen
tomfoolery, and an important Japants update.

Our new Soft-Top DARPA Hoodie sold out in an incredible seven days, so we’ve restocked our virtual shelves. And this time, we’ve added an optional twist: custom patches!

Saul Griffith, DARPA-funded creator of the algorithmic wizardry in our DARPA Hoodies, recently ordered a batch of ‘em adorned with custom patches for folks working on his various ventures (projects like HowToons and OnyaCycles). We thought you might like hoodies with patches, too. Better yet, we’re letting you design DARPA-style, top-secret patches of your own.

Now you and five or more* coworkers or coconspirators can represent with hoodies featuring your very own insignia. Check out our first corporate order (above, left): some incendiary goodness that the folks at Xobni came up with to inspire the troops.

We recommend using eagles, cryptic Latin phrases, and other timeworn armed forces motifs — after all, our hoodie is named after a mysterious defense agency. (Click here to learn more about the space-age technology that goes into every hoodie.)

Just send us your design — the more ridiculous, the better — and we’ll quickly transform it into a fun patch that’ll be sewn onto the sleeve or breast of a super-soft, organic cotton/hemp hoodie.

Don’t settle for boring sweatshirts bearing your corporate logo. You and your elite sales force, development hit-squad, or investment-banking commandoes deserve an awesome hoodie that lets the rest of the company know that you’re not to be taken lightly. (We offer group discounts; get details below)

Our custom hoodies are great for clubs and cults as well. What better way to create esprit de corps with your fellow unicyclists, or show Supreme Galactic Grandfather that you’re ready to ascend to the next level!

Of course, you’re also more than welcome to buy an unadorned Soft-Top DARPA Hoodie. It looks and feels great all on its own.

How to Order Custom Hoodies

Step 1: Request an entertaining order form by e-mailing us at matt@betabrand.com.

Step 2: Submit your order form to us by April 15. Make sure you include all the required specifications for your patch — graphics, size, etc.

Step 3: We process your order, and you get your new custom DARPA Hoodies in about 14 days, as long as we have all your sizes in stock. (Orders that include out-of-stock sizes will take longer.)

*Custom Hoodie Team Pricing (Minimum Order of Five)

The bigger your team, the better the deal on our custom Soft-Top DARPA Hoodies. Here’s the lowdown on group discounts:

5-9: $95/hoodie

10-19: $90/hoodie

20-49: $85/hoodie

50+: $80/hoodie

Defense contracts of 5,000+ units: $75

To learn more about group discounts, contact us at matt@betabrand.com. Please note that Betabrand offers group discounts on all other in-stock products when you purchase three or more. Here’s one savvy customer who recently ordered a special batch of horizontal seersucker pants for his wedding party.

Horizontal seersucker pants? Oh yes. You’ll find out about them in a few weeks.

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MODEL CITIZEN CONTEST UPDATE

It’s time to cast your vote in our incredible Vanity Pants Model-Citizen Challenge. As you may recall, the winner of this contest gets his very own brand of pants. We’ve ranked the contestants by votes and creative merit in a gallery on our Facebook fan page. Prepare to be astonished by the talent and bravery of your fellow pant enthusiasts!

You have until midnight tonight to “like” and comment on contestant photos. We’ll announce the winner tomorrow.

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JAPANTS UPDATE

Charity and commerce came together wonderfully last week, as we blew through our entire first batch of Japants in only 36 hours. This means we’ll be wiring a check to the good people of Ishinomaki in a few days.

The trouser-hungry hordes are demanding even more of designer Tomo Saito’s cool Tokyo cargoes, so our seamstresses are hard at work on a new batch. Should they be olive or gray? Tell Jared, the designer, what you think at jared@betabrand.com.

Want to know when Japants will be back on our site and ready for purchase? Sign up for a VIP alert on the Japants product page. The next batch should be ready in May.

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THE BETABRAND FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

See other Betabrand fans face-to-face on our Facebook fan page. This is our message board, rumor mill, lightning deal depot and Model Citizen HQ.

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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.