Betabrand Presents: Pot-Docs, Special Edition Karate Casual Pants

This week we unleash at-home attire, a high-velocity martial arts video, and an astounding collection of Model Citizen photos.

From the secret ninja lair deep beneath Mount Dragonfist to the kung-fu dojos of Dover, Delaware, martial artists the world over are talking about Nonjitsu, Betabrand’s new martial art of inactivity.

Disciples of Nonjitsu are known as Nonja. Legend has it members of this shadowy brotherhood of slothful gentlemen possess deadly accuracy with remote controls, can contort their bodies to nap in any position, and adhere to a strict diet of microwavable and home-delivered food. (Learn more about their stunning array of abilities here.)

And the official uniform of the Nonja? Betabrand’s Karate Casual pants—slacks created specifically for slackers. These ultra-comfortable drawstring trousers can be worn for days on end through the most rigorous Nonjitsu activities, like Bond marathons, bong marathons, and rousing biathlons of Hot Pockets and Xbox.

Of course, it’s only natural that we would eventually release a limited edition made from only the finest, kindest hemp. We call them POT-DOCS!

A slight twist on our standard Karate Casuals, Pot-Docs are medical scrubs made of a fine hemp twill, sourced from Hawaii’s hidden hemp isle of Chronic’i. Designed for stoners and non-stoners alike, these blue and green pants go great with any t-shirt or hoodie, like the one you’ve been wearing for the last several days.

Like every pair of Karate Casuals, our Pot-Docs feature belts with 11 stripes, each signifying a noteworthy level of non-mobile achievement. (See the full list here.) In addition, Pot-Doc wearers can earn up to five more stripes by accomplishing the following feats of derring-don’t:

1. Allowing your toenails to reach world-record length.

2. Bringing the chamber pot back en vogue.

3. Being chastised by one’s Roomba for lack of ambition.

4. Becoming cocooned by a giant, mutant dust bunny.

5. Discovering that Velveeta ages remarkably well between your sofa cushions.

Your journey to becoming a full-fledged Nonja begins (and ends, actually) by ordering a pair of Pot-Docs today!

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“SKY CHI” VIDEO OF MAN IN KARATE CASUAL PANTS

Betabrand model Citizen, Kurt Issel, recently introduced us to the airborne martial art of Sky Chi — a method of self defense that’s particularly effective at 10,000 feet. Should you find yourself attacked by ruffians while wandering through the clouds, do consider Master Issel’s techniques.

Note that he’s wearing Bruce Lee edition Karate Casual pants in this video. While we’d prefer that he keep them at home, where they rightly belong, the trousers perform wonderfully at 120 mph.

Californians seeking Sky Chi instruction from Master Issel can find him at SkyDance Skydiving in Davis, CA.

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ASTOUNDING MODEL CITIZEN PHOTOS. WINNER SHALL BE NAMED TODAY.

Betabrand would like to welcome 34 new Model Citizens onto the site this week. In two hours, we’ll crown the winner of the January challenge and award him or her with the entire collection of Betabrand t-shirts.

Help us determine the champ by visiting the Betabrand Facebook fanpage and letting us know your favorite.

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HOT DAMN! ANOTHER PAIR OF KARATE CASUAL PANTS!

Yes, there’s a third edition to the Karate Casual line today, but it’s not made of hemp, so we decided not to confuse you. These are made of fine French twill and are available alongside the classic black seersucker and Bruce Lee versions in the Karate Casual aisle of the Betabrand store.

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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.