In addition to their great looks and waist-friendly design, Karate Casuals also happen to be the official garment of Nonjitsu, the Cordarounds martial art of inaction.
And on that note, we need to address a potentially explosive controversy in the martial arts community. With so many new practitioners of Nonjitsu, the high masters of Ninjitsu recently lodged a formal complaint with the Indomitable Dragon Counsel, supreme judicial body for the world of martial arts (housed, by the way, in a owl-shaped fortress atop Antarctica’s tallest, most invisible mountain).
Seems they’re concerned that the general public may confuse our martial art with theirs. Concerned to the point of ambushing our CFO with a nunchuck-a-gram last week.
Rather than letting this conflict escalate, inevitably putting our customers at risk of sudden sword attack, we have issued an official rebuttal to the Dragon Counsel, explaining once and for all the differences between our two stately crafts.
NINJITSU v. NONJITSU
Deadly accuracy with throwing star. Deadly accuracy with remote control.
Can telepathically summon killer bees. Can telephonically summon Domino’s Sausage Lover’s Pie.
Skilled practitioner of mortal combat. Skilled practitioner of Mortal Kombat.
Dispatches foes in a silent, deadly fashion. Dispenses flatulence with no stealth whatsoever.
Can slow breathing and heart rate until death-like state is achieved. Can be induced into coma by recliner and family-size bag of Funyuns.
Possesses cat-like reflexes. Possesses three cats.
Able to blend in with any surroundings. Able to blend Velveeta and salsa for a zesty nacho topping.
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