01/23 The Explosive Secret NASA Won’t Tell You

In Space, No One Can Hear
You Scream (For Joy)

New Space Collection!

FIRST, SOME POTENTIALLY UNSETTLING NEWS: Approximately one year from today, our planet will be pulverized by a comet the size of Rhode Island, a comet that may or may not be inhabited by a race of humungous, fire-breathing, Yeti-like creatures with insatiable sexual cravings for humans.

Earth just doesn’t look that appealing anymore, does it?

THE SILVER LINING: We just launched three incredible new astronaut-inspired prototypes into the crowdfunding cosmos, each made from Tyvek and other space-age materials: Space Booties, the Space Messenger Bag, and the long-anticipated Women’s Space Jacket, to go with our original men’s version.

Considering the more prudent among us will soon flee Earth for the great interstellar unknown, our timing couldn’t be better. Scroll down to check out the entire Space Collection, then save up to 30%, plus get free shipping! (Offer excludes residents of the Andromeda Galaxy.)

Women’s Space Jacket

Because you never get a second chance to make first contact.
Women's Space Jacket

Our Space Jacket model delicately suggested that if we plan to escape Earth, our prototype spacecraft could use an engine.
Women's Space Jacket

Men’s Space Jacket

We’re already on our fourth production run of these extraordinarily popular jackets. The next batch is due to reenter the atmosphere in early March. Reserve yours now!
Men's Space Jacket

As one intrepid Model Citizen (below) recently showed us, the Space Jacket works wonderfully in Antarctica. We hope the same will hold true on Hoth.
Men's Space Jacket

Space Booties

No matter where your travels take you, remember this one universal constant: It’s fun to say “Space Booties.” For men and women.
Space Booties

Space Messenger Bag

Keeps your essentials safe from prying alien fingers — or tentacles. BONUS: includes matching laptop sleeve!
Space Messenger Bag

More Crowdfundable Creations

Morning-Mess Jacket
Morning-Mess Jacket: From Nicole Spyt comes a jacket designed to keep all your daily essentials safe, secure, and eminently find-able, no matter how much of a rush you’re in. Features soft cotton-brushed twill, pockets galore, and other goodies.
Poo-Emoji Shirt
Poo-Emoji Shirt: From a distance, it’s a handsome button-up. But look closer, and you’ll find your gaze returned by gazillions of tiny, smiling piles of poop. Fund the shirt that’s been covered by Buzzfeed, CNET, GQ, MTV, and more! Matching shoes also available.
Popshop Convert-A-Skirt Overalls
Popshop Convert-A-Skirt Overalls: Three looks in one! These stretch-denim overalls can quickly transform into a skirt and purse. An innovative new design from Popshop curator Noemi Garcia.
Jacket of Infinite Improbability
Jacket of Infinite Improbability: This weather-resistant jacket from designer Steve Teeps has everything a hitchhiker needs — like a towel, of course. (Fabric content includes coated ripstop nylon and space-time.)
Solitaire Jumpsuit
Solitaire Jumpsuit: Comedian Margaret Cho is putting the purse industry on notice with a wonderfully comfortable, versatile one-piece featuring zippered pockets aplenty. (Apologies to Mrs. Spade, Monsieur Vuitton, et al.)
Betabrand Supercomputer
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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.

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