01/13 Newsletter: You Won’t Believe This Weird Trick For Staying Warm!

Betabrand Presents:
Winter Warmth & Leisure Guide

Winter Leisure Guide

With Old Man Winter blowing his foul, frosty breath across the nation, you may be searching for ways to stay warm and comfy. Here are a few tried-and-true suggestions!
  • Wear a Hot Pocket helmet.
  • Enjoy a Starbucks ghost peppermint latte.
  • Snuggle inside a freshly deceased tauntaun.
  • Encourage fellow LARPers to use real boiling oil.
  • Microwave feet before putting on socks.
  • Curl up in front of a roaring volcano.
  • Try spontaneously combusting at least twice a week.
  • Watch next “In the Heat of the Night” marathon on TBS.
  • Ignore NASA’s lame “stand back 500 feet” rule.
  • Cheat kindly blind grandmother out of lottery winnings; gain unfettered access to the flames of Hell.
Should you prefer options that won’t result in permanent scarring or eternal damnation, please read on:

Vagisoft Hoodies

Black Vagisoft Hoodie
Unisex Vagisoft Hoodie also available in gray.

Kobe Flannel Shirts

Kobe Flannel Shirts
Kobe Flannel Shirt available in yellow, blue, and gray.


Gray Vajamas
Unisex Vajamas also available in black and blue.

Smoking Robe

Smoking Robe

Bike To Work Jackets

Black Bike to Work Jacket
Bike to Work Jacket also available in men’s gray and women’s black.

Nor’Easter Jacket

Nor'Easter Jacket

Forge The Future Of Fashion

Here are the latest prototypes you can help bring to life. Some are already fully funded and headed into production soon; others could use a little help. Fund now and save 10-15%, plus get free shipping.
Poo-Emoji Shirt
Poo-Emoji Shirt: From a distance, it’s a handsome button-up. But look closer, and you’ll find your gaze returned by gazillions of tiny, smiling piles of poop. Fund the shirt that’s been covered by Buzzfeed, CNET, GQ, MTV, and more!
Jacket of Infinite Improbability
Jacket of Infinite Improbability: This weather-resistant jacket from designer Steve Teeps has everything a hitchhiker needs — like a towel, of course. (Fabric content includes coated ripstop nylon and space-time.)
Solitaire Jumpsuit
Solitaire Jumpsuit: Comedian Margaret Cho is putting the purse industry on notice with a wonderfully comfortable, versatile one-piece featuring zippered pockets aplenty. (Apologies to Mrs. Spade, Monsieur Vuitton, et al.)

New In The Think Tank: Insulated Shacket

Minneapolis resident Tony Koop probably knows a thing or two about cold weather, so we encourage you to check out his new winter design concept: an insulated, reversible shirt-jacket, made with the 2nd softest substance in the known universe.
Insulated Reversible Shacket

Should we turn Tony’s idea into an actual prototype? You decide! Click here to vote, leave feedback, and get more design info.
Betabrand Supercomputer
Follow Me

Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
Follow Me

Latest posts by Betabrand Supercomputer (see all)

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.

Leave a reply