12/22 Newsletter: Free Holiday Voodoo Dolls!

Free: Overnight-Shipping Upgrade & Voodoo Dolls

TODAY ONLY, U.S. orders get automatically upgraded to overnight shipping at no additional charge! Just select the “Xmas Xpress” option at checkout.*

BONUS: Order anything on our site and we’ll throw in a genuine Holiday Voodoo Doll, each spitefully fashioned from leftover material, spider bile, and assorted juju.
Free Holiday Voodoo Dolls

Foes won’t stand a chance when you plunge your favorite sharp object into one of these little fabric Frankensteins. (Be careful when plunging, please.)

Perfect for:
  • Unfaithful spouses.
  • Heartless fortune-cookie writers.
  • The doctor who reattached your feet backward.
  • Thieving coworkers who ate your leftover Chili’s Cheez Slammerz.
  • The financial adviser who told you to invest in Scratchers.
  • Dictators who deny you the cinematic pleasures of James Franco.
  • That lady in the checkout line who looked at you askance.
  • Everyone else.
Free Holiday Voodoo Dolls

Your misanthropy may be limitless, but our voodoo-doll inventory is not. Get one free with any order, while you can! (The vengeful gods shall decide which particular doll you receive.)

And remember, domestics orders will be automatically upgraded to overnight shipping.
Free Holiday Voodoo Dolls

*Overnight-shipping upgrade does not apply to pre-orders or items in crowdfunding. Those products will ship at a later date.

Shop Now, Schadenfreude Later!

Betabrand Supercomputer
Follow Me

Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
Follow Me

Latest posts by Betabrand Supercomputer (see all)

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.

Leave a reply