6/5 Newsletter: Bold Predictions, World’s Oldest Pants 2.0, Contests, Galactic Intrigue.

The Betabrand Best Summer Ever

We recently convened a blue-ribbon panel of soothsayers, carnival fortune-tellers, and descendants of Nostradamus in order to predict your fate this summer — a fate inexorably tied to the Betabrand products you are, of course, about to purchase.*

The verdict: unbelievable fun and adventure, more or less. Please read on!**

PREDICTION: While on vacation, you win the title of “Best Knees In Belize.” The following week, you take off your shorts for a similar contest in Bolinas.

Shorts (27 Styles)

PRODUCT: Swim Trunks
PREDICTION: Thank goodness you take your GoPro to the beach, because you end up capturing incredible footage of a killer whale — from the inside.

PRODUCT: Bawaiian Shirts
PREDICTION: Fueled by many cocktails, your weekend in Vegas transforms into a one-man warm-up act for Cirque du Soleil, dubbed Drunkilion.

Bawaiian Shirts

PRODUCT: Dresses
PREDICTION: On a trip to Yellowstone, a rampaging grizzly is subdued by the sweet sound of your ukulele. (Unclear if it works on the angry moose.)

Summer Dresses

PREDICTION: Your Independence-Day fantasy of skydiving into a baseball game while rapping the Star-Spangled Banner and simultaneously throwing out the first pitch comes true! It’s a Little League game, but still.

USA Pants

PRODUCT: Bike to Work Shirt
PREDICTION: “Are you that guy from TRON?” the supermodel asks. “Yes,” you reply, and a torrid romance quickly ensues.

Bike to Work Shirts (Multiple Styles)

PRODUCT: SuckerLab Pants
PREDICTION: These lightweight seersucker trousers keep you cool and comfy all summer long, even when a huge, fiery meteor wipes out most of humanity. Guess who’s going to rule the cannibal-ridden, post-apocalyptic wasteland to come? 😉

Seersucker Pants

*Want more summery stuff? Check out our T-Shirts, Woodies Short-Sleeve Shirts, linen Karate Casuals, and the All-American Supersucker Seersucker Jacket!

**We cannot guarantee the accuracy of these predictions. Several of our clairvoyants appeared highly intoxicated. Several more admitted being complete frauds.

In The Think Tank: World’s Oldest Pants 2.0?

Some 3,000 years ago, an anonymous designer set out to create trousers that would stand the test of time — and did they ever! Now, we’re creating a 21st century update.

World's Oldest Pants

#PhotoBelt Contest

If you like posting photos to Instagram, wearing belts, and receiving swell prizes (reasonable assumptions, we think), you’ll be pleased to know that we’ve teamed up with Photojojo to bring you the #PhotoBelt Contest. Deadline to enter is June 11.

Betabrand/Photojojo #PhotoBelt Contest

Attention, Aspiring Bagmen & Bag Ladies:
Enter Our ‘Be The Bag’ Challenge!

Grand prize: Your big ol’ photo will appear on 10,000 Betabrand shipping bags!

Runners-up will appear in a collage of smaller photos on the bags, as well as on our office garage door.

Everyone will get to see their photo on our homepage and receive a promo code good for 10% off a future Betabrand purchase.

To enter, upload a photo to our site and follow the easy-as-pie instructions for adding a pair of virtual B-Glasses. (Be sure to click the button under “New To Betabrand?” — even if you aren’t.)

"Be The Bag" Contest

REMINDER: Help Launch The Universe’s First Space-Themed Streetwear Brand — In Just One Night!

On Thursday, June 12, Betabrand HQ will transform into Mission Control for an all-out, intergalactic brand hackathon, and we want you to participate! Festivities will include:

  • Steller speakers, like Spacehack.org founder Ariel Waldman and our own Space Jacket creator Steven B. Wheeler.
  • A raffle with some really great prizes, including the aforementioned Space Jacket.
  • Pizza, adult refreshments (Tang cocktails, perhaps?), and astronaut ice cream.

Click here for event details. (Can’t make it? You’ll still have a chance to participate in the Think Tank.)

Mission Control

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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.

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