6/3 Newsletter: Alarmingly Aerodynamic New Cordarounds

 

New Cordarounds

Those government PSAs are true: Cordarounds are dangerously aerodynamic, as our new Concrete, Cobalt, and Sage editions so aptly demonstrate.

Their corduroy wales go sideways instead of up-and-down, drastically lowering the drag coefficient associated with traditional, vertical cords. With air flowing virtually unimpeded, disturbingly high velocities are inevitable!

In fact, only speed freaks and fighter pilots need read on.

Sage Cordarounds

How fast, exactly, are Cordarounds? Consider the evidence:

    • Banned by the International Olympic Committee as performance-enhancing pants.
    • Will deflate the egos of cheetahs, peregrine falcons, and particularly sensitive maglev trains.
    • Faster than the Flash after too many quadruple espressos.
    • Slated to be the subject of Ralph Nader’s long-awaited follow-up to “Unsafe At Any Speed.”
  • Not to be worn while making love, for several reasons.

Cobalt Cordarounds

As thousands of weary-legged customers around the world can attest, Cordarounds should be worn with extreme caution. Super-speeder fines and regular medical treatment for extreme groin pulls are just some of the costs of ownership.

Concrete Cordarounds

Like all Cordarounds, new Concrete, Cobalt, and Sage are limited editions — get yours while you can!

Sage Cordarounds

Cordarounds Shorts:
All The Speed, Half The Fabric

Our new Cordarounds Shorts are just like our Cordarounds trousers, only much less long. In addition to the aforementioned aerodynamic qualities, they’re also:

    • COOLER! Traditional vertical corduroy produces friction that can heat a crotch to uncomfortable, even dangerous levels. Our horizontal corduroy meshes evenly, significantly lowering the average wearer’s Crotch Heat Index (CHI) reading.

 

  • AND QUIETER! Revolutionary wale alignment virtually eliminates the dreaded corduroy swish-swish. It’s like your shorts have taken a vow of silence.

Available for just a short time in Cobalt, Concrete, Cordaflage, and Sage.

Cordarounds Shorts

Help Us Launch The Universe’s First Space-Themed Streetwear Brand — In Just One Night!

On Thursday, June 12, Betabrand HQ will transform into Mission Control for an all-out, intergalactic brand hackathon, and we want you to participate! Festivities will include:

  • Steller speakers, like Spacehack.org founder Ariel Waldman and our own Space Jacket creator Steven B. Wheeler.
  • A raffle with some really great prizes, including the aforementioned Space Jacket.
  • Pizza, adult refreshments (Tang cocktails, perhaps?), and astronaut ice cream.

Click here for event details.

"Mission Control" Event

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