5/6 Newsletter: The World’s Comfiest Gym Shorts

24-Hour Shorts Sale

Right now, you can save splendidly on all sorts of shorts: brand-new ones, perennial favorites, and even those available for pre-order only — more than 30 in all! (Women’s shorts are available here.) Speaking of new shorts …

New Cordarounds Shorts

What, exactly, are Cordarounds Shorts? Well, they’re just like our corduroy pants, only much less long. And because they’re made with the same space-age horizontal corduroy, they also feature astonishing scientific properties! (Clockwise: Cordaflage, Sage, Concrete, Indigo.)

Four New Cordarounds Shorts

At last, lightweight cord shorts that are:

    • COOLER! Traditional vertical corduroy produces friction that can heat a crotch to uncomfortable, even dangerous levels. Our horizontal corduroy meshes evenly, significantly lowering the average wearer’s Crotch Heat Index (CHI) reading.
    • QUIETER! Revolutionary wale alignment virtually eliminates the dreaded corduroy swish-swish. It’s like your shorts have taken a vow of silence.
    • MORE AERODYNAMIC! Air flows freely between horizontal corduroy wales; this dramatically lowers drag coefficient (up to 16.5%, in some cases) and concurrently increases leg-based acceleration. Please respect local speed limits.

The science of horizontal corduroy

Are Cordarounds Shorts the most advanced corduroy shorts ever? At the risk of sounding a tad self-congratulatory, yes. We made just a small batch of each, so order yours today.

Cordaflage closeup

The World’s Comfiest Gym Shorts

Again with the hyperbole. The comfiest gym shorts in the world? That’s a quite a claim — we’d certainly be a little skeptical, too. But how else to describe a pair of shorts whose soporific softness causes gentlemen to doze off mid-workout?

Gray Gym Shorts

Their secret: remarkably supple fabric that gives the World’s Comfiest Gym Shorts their special tryptophantastic quality. (They feel very similar to our famously comfy Dress Pant Sweatpants.)

Chevron Jacquard detail on World's Comfiest Gym Shorts

The World’s Comfiest Gym Shorts are available for a limited time, in Navy Chevron and Gray. Pre-order now and save 10%, in addition to today’s site-wide shorts special.

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Holy Hoodigans!

What phenomenon of nature could bring together a hoodie and cardigan with such force that they combine at the molecular level? While the world’s greatest physicists consider this question, we can report that wonderful, lightweight Hoodigans are available now in Shark-Hide and Static.

Shark-Hide Hoodigan

Static Hoodigan

New In The Think Tank:
Women’s Creature Double-Feature Sweater

For his first foray into cinema couture, Tony Wloch has drawn up plans for a sweater as practical as it is monstrous. Whether we turn the Creature Double-Feature Sweater into an actual prototype is up to you. Vote now!

Women's Creature Double-Feature Sweater

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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.

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