4/1 Newsletter: Adult Adult Undergarments & Human-Themed Cat Clothing

 

In today’s newsletter: innovations in absorption couture and feline fashion. Also, we’re looking for a Head of Finance.

Adult Adult Undergarments

Gentlemen: When the forecast calls for sizzling hot nights, make sure there’s 0% chance of precipitation!

Don’t settle for ordinary adult undergarments when you can slip into new Adult Adult Undergarments. They’re super sexy, super absorbent, and available in three seductive styles.

Adult Adult Undergarments

    • Jungle Lord: Like a big cat, you’re always on the prowl. Now get ready to mark your territory, discreetly.

 

    • Outlaw: You’re not the kind of guy who plays by the rules, especially the rule that says you can’t urinate in your pants.

 

  • Dry Martini: Leave your lover shaken and stirred.

Adult Adult Undergarments

CONTEST! We still need to pick an official brand name for Adult Adult Undergarments; click here and leave your suggestion in the comment section. 1st prize is the chance to wear our undergarments in a Superbowl commercial! 2nd prize is a Reversible Disco Hoodie.

Human-Themed Clothes For Cats

Human clothes with cats on them: plentiful.

Cat clothes with humans on them: scarce as a purebred Kurilian Bobtail!

Thank goodness we’ve partnered with Cheezburger to bring you the latest in hip feline fashion.

Human-themed clothes for cats!

Are Fluffy and Buster big Silence of the Lambs fans? No, they’re just wearing new Human Onsies! And check out Morris and Lady Di (below) in their colorful little numbers. How adorable! Or maybe they’re being ironic — we just can’t tell.

Human-themed clothes for cats!

Click here to see our new cat clothing shatter revenue records in real time! (Note: Thanks to our patented PawScan™ technology, you will be unable to order without the assistance of a biometrically verifiable cat. Seriously.)

Wanted: Our New Head Of Finance

If you believe any of the above products are real, then please do not apply to be our Head of Finance. If you chuckled mildly, however, you could be the man or woman for the job. Click here to learn more.

Wanted: Head Of Finance

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Betabrand Supercomputer
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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.