The King Smut Interview

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1.  Has your life changed since acquiring these pants?

Sure my life has changed. It got even more awesome than it was….granted “awesome” and “out-of-control” are two of my closest friends! The pants slipped right into my wardrobe as if they were destined to be there. I’ve been bringing out all sorts of nice to pair with the King Smuts. Initially when people hear about a pair of gold pants, they assume some gaudy, broke-down pimp regalia. Everything changes when the pants are revealed. Betabrand is helping me change fashion history.

Yes. You can wear gold trousers.

Yes. You may also wear them year round.

Betabrand and King Smut. Helping people, one leg at a time.

2.  How has the state of Mississippi changed since you acquired these pants?

Mississippi is last in a great deal of categories (sad), but one of them is not fashion anymore (less sad). We may have now discovered how the South actually got dirty. It was the King Smuts! Mississippi, yes I actually pronounce all four syllables, is also no stranger to burning. The only burning that is evident NOW is the burning look of desire I get from people who want to get into my pants….I mean, GET my pants. Clearly that’s what I meant.

3.  How envious do you think the rest of the Betabrand customer base is?  And why?

I think the Betabrand customers may be somewhat envious of the King Smuts. I see you denizens of Facebook with your envy and scheming! The pants were made, and auctioned off, to create an overarching sense of envy and I think it worked. People tend to want what they can’t have which creates that lovely twinge of envy. The feelings of envy are recreated every time someone realizes that there will never be another pair of King Smuts.

4.  Would you consider allowing a run of Chris Simmons, King Smut tribute pants, provided there was a sketched likeness of you as King Smut on the waistband?

You guys are good, very good, appealing to my sense of vanity and playful state of narcissism. Having my likeness included in future King Smut tribute pants really puts a new twist on getting into someone’s pants. While I would LOVE to have my ego *cough* stroked even more, there can only be one pair of King Smuts in existence. Lest the fabric of the universe unfold itself to some sartorial apocalypse. The aPANTalypse if you will. You wouldn’t want THAT on you conscience, would you!? I’m just helping maintain the hegemonic ideal of the fashion elite. Maybe you could create the likeness of King Smut (me *swoon*) on napkins, like the one included with the gluttony pants, for all the people who want to play along at home? A black t-shirt with my golden likeness would be pretty meta too. Maybe I should just pay y’all for some of those items anyway. Oh wait. We’re not on the greed or pride sin yet.

5. Does King Smut have a PG message for his followers?  We need to get this through spam filters.

HAH!

King Smut is always looking to increase the strength of his kingdom. If you think you have what it takes to become a Smuttite, send in a photograph of your best “smut look”. You MUST have a golden item in the picture. Winners receive an autographed, more like a hieroglyph stamped (Hieroglyphed? Yep. Nice ring to it), photograph of King Smut himself…..suitable for framing and/or shadowboxing. You’ll be immortalized on my Wall of Smut AND make others envious. That’s a win in my book.

-The King Smut Creed-

Subjects! Follow these rules: (at least THIS section should be PG!)

Buy Betabrand.

Eat snacks.

Play hard.

Smut. Out.

Smutankhamen Speaks!
Betabrand Supercomputer
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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.