Just last month, our dear friend Lord Cornelius Plumwaithe-Thistlebottom arrived in San Francisco for a week of gentlemanly adventure and bracing sport, only to find his steamer trunk utterly bereft of proper attire.
Moved by his plight, Betabrand fashion engineers set about creating an exquisite new garment tailored for all manner of aristocratic leisure. The result: our limited-edition Moss and Ash-Blue Trail Blazers, rustic silk-blend jackets sewn with urban sophistication. At last, a coat for the country squire who yearns to enjoy his favorite pastimes in the city!
These beautiful jackets are subtly rough-hewn on the outside and luxuriously silky on the inside, with regal plaid or houndstooth contrast throughout. In addition, each was aged in an oak whiskey barrel, then set out to gently dry in front of a roaring fireplace in the stateliest manor house we could find.
Slip on a Trail Blazer and head out for a day of rousing urban adventure. You’ll find that:
- Your arrival at social gatherings is heralded by a blast of bugles and the baying of hounds.
- Café-goers scream with approval when you flush pheasants with a throaty roar and multiple shotgun blasts.
- You look particularly smashing with mutton chops, a woolen scarf, and a falcon tethered to your wrist.
- You’ve been granted horseback access to all HOV lanes.
- Your texts appear in calligraphy.
- Restaurants now prepare common meals to your haute specifications, like Breakfast-Burrito Wellington and Quarter Pounder Thermidor.
Today’s Caption Contest
Welcome to the Model Citizen Caption Contest. Today’s prize: your choice of any one item on our Mega Deals page! Post your witty witticisms on our Facebook Fan Page:
In Case You Missed ‘Em
Our hardworking fashion scientists unveil thrilling new inventions every week! Here are some of their recent breakthroughs:
- Hemp Fleece Jacket: A luxuriously comfy lightweight jacket featuring only the finest drug innuendo.
- Women’s Executive Hoodies: Workplace equality at last, sort of. Available in Navy Pinstripe and Glen Plaid.
- Disco Tuxedo Jacket: Show other New Year’s Eve revelers that you mean business.
- Striped Cashmere Beanies: Time to cradle your cranium in luxuriously soft cashmere.
- World’s Most Nauseating Holiday Apron: Kitchen apparel so utterly revolting, we could only make a small batch before our conscience got the best of us.
A Betabrand Holiday Tradition
Like “A Christmas Story” and “It’s a Wonderful Life,” the inaugural wheelchair race at Buck’s Restaurant has become a Betabrand holiday favorite. Watch as our senior sponsored athletes race for the prize in this heartwarming video classic.
I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Latest posts by Betabrand Supercomputer (see all)
- 30-Day Dress, Work-to-Evening Dress - October 29, 2015
- Our New Active Blazer: Now In Crowdfunding - October 29, 2015
- Stunt-Tested Jeans For Him, A Performance Top For Her, - October 29, 2015