Women’s Executive Hoodies, Plaid+ Flannel Shirts, Free Santa Hats

In today’s newsletter: equality in the boardroom (sort of), fortified flannel, and shimmering holiday hats.

 

Our New Women's Navy Executive Pinstripe Hoodie

 

Today, we’re proud to introduce our first fine-wool Executive Hoodies made just for women — in Navy Pinstripe and Glen Plaid. At last, employees of Betabrand need not fear for their lives! Allow us to briefly explain.

The New Women's Glen Plaid Executive Hoodie

 

Earlier this year, we introduced a line of exquisitely styled men’s hoodies made from suit-quality wool. The response was overwhelmingly positive — from men. Women, on the other hand, demanded to know why we didn’t create a version for them. Some asked this question nicely. Others did not.

The New Women's Navy Executive Pinstripe Hoodie

 

A few impatient captains of industry even threatened us, despite assurances that Betabrand was hard at work on a women’s line of Executive Hoodies.

  • Susan Maplesteak, CEO of Munchausen-Smythe Pharmaceuticals, implied that she would have our multivitamins replaced with zoo-grade laxatives.
  • Software visionary Zoe Choggolini promised to infect our network with a virus that made all mobile devices smell like old cheese.
  • Linda P. Grinkle, President of QuestMark Defense Solutions, informed us that she would reduce Betabrand Headquarters to a pile of “#%!@*& body-strewn rubble,” courtesy of her company’s unmanned drones.

The New Women's Glen Plaid Executive Hoodie

 

Needless to say, this encouraged us to finish our first batch of gorgeous, super-comfy wool hoodies as soon as humanly possible. We made just a limited number of ’em, right here in our San Francisco sew shop — order yours today!

(Gentleman, take note: We’ve still got men’s Gray and Navy Executive Pinstripe Hoodies in stock.)

 

The Plaid+ Flannel Shirt

What’s the “plus” in our new Plaid+ Flannel Shirt?

For starters, this garment is made from a fine wool blend — not the coarse, itchy stuff that gives rise to the affliction commonly known as “lumberjack rash.”

 

The New Plaid-Plus Flannel Shirt

 

Our designers also gave it handsome jean-style tack buttons and, best of all, a pair of surprisingly roomy hidden side pockets — perfect for surreptitiously stowing all manner of essential equipment. And by essential, we mean, of course, things like phones, flasks, throwing stars, tacos, tarantulas, jai alai balls, and rolls of hundred-dollar bills ($50,000 limit per pocket).

The New Plaid-Plus Flannel Shirt

This limited-edition shirt is made in San Francisco and available only at Betabrand.com.

The New Plaid-Plus Flannel Shirt

 

Disco Santa Hat Deal

So Santa Claus has been wearing the same hat for what, 6,000 years or something? We think it’s time for an update to this Yuletide fashion staple.

Made from the same ultra-rare disconium that goes into the rest of our DiscoLab products, our new Disco Santa Hat is guaranteed to stand out in a crowded field of flimsy felt competitors. And not just because St. Nick is red-green colorblind.

The New Disco Santa Hat

 

What’s more, this hat features luxurious black Vagisoft, a material 300% softer than Santa’s beard and fluffier than a freshly laundered bunny. Order a dazzling Disco Santa Hat today, while supplies last. To get one for free:
  1. Put at least $75 of stuff in your cart.
  2. Add a Disco Santa Hat.
  3. Watch as the price of that hat magically disappears at checkout! (One free hat per order.)

The New Disco Santa Hat

 

In Case You Missed ‘Em

Our hardworking fashion scientists unveil thrilling new inventions every week! Here are some of their recent breakthroughs:
Four New Graphic T-Shirts
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.