The Betabrand Supercomputer Presents: Cyber Monday Savings Spectacular!

In today’s newsletter: last day to save 20% on any Betabrand product. Plus, a caption contest and threats of almost unspeakable cyber-horror.

 

The Betabrand Supercomputer Presents: Cyber Monday Savings Spectacular!

 

Technically, today is the final day of our Mondo Holiday Sale, your chance to save 20% on any in-stock item at Betabrand.com. However, as a thank-you for years of meritorious service, we promised the Betabrand Supercomputer that it could run the show.

 

Its first order of business? Give the sale a more computer-friendly name, of course. Next, it used a powerful algorithm to analyze your personal data (demographic, genealogical, astrological, fantasy football, etc.) in order to find the six best Betabrand products to show you:

 

Dress Pant Sweatpants

Last day to save 20% on Dress Pant Sweatpants!

 

 

Red Dragon Reversible Smoking Jacket

Last day to save 20% on Red Dragon Reversible Smoking Jackets!

 

 

World’s Most Nauseating Holiday Pants

Last day to save 20% on Nauseating Holiday Pants!

 

 

Black Sheep Sweater

Last day to save 20% on Black Sheep Sweaters!

 

 

Navy Executive Pinstripe Hoodie

Last day to save 20% on Executive Pinstripe Hoodies!

 

 

Red Alert! Cordarounds

Last day to save 20% on Red Alert! Cordarounds.

 

And, finally, the Betabrand Supercomputer mentioned several unfortunate things that might happen if you don’t order something from our site today:

  • You will be transported into a Tron-like existence inside a spreadsheet program.

  • Your laptop will unexpectedly snap shut with the force of a bear trap.

  • You will receive powerful electric shocks every time you post a photo of your meal on Facebook.

  • A computer virus will replace your entire LinkedIn resume with “CTO of ClownsInHeat.com“.

 

Will this malicious machine make good on its threats? We’re not entirely sure — best to play it safe and order one or more wonderful Betabrand products. Remember: We make ’em in small batches, so supplies are very limited. Get your 20% savings while you can!

 

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Cyber Monday Caption Contest!

 

Want to win a pair of incomparable Disco Pants? Post your funniest caption on our Facebook Fan Page.

 

Cyber Monday Caption Contest

 

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Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110

info@betabrand.com / 800.694.9491

 

Betabrand Rocket Eagles

 

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Betabrand Supercomputer
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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.