Cool linen trousers to help you stop panting, fully insured socks, and a tuxedo jacket made of pure disconium.
In response to the recent heat wave that gripped America like Satan’s fiery fist, our scientists put aside all other projects to focus on developing a new pair of warm-weather trousers. So while the world must now wait a little longer for the likes of the beef-jerky bikini and other fashion breakthroughs, we’re pleased to announce the arrival of Blue Linen Karate Casuals. Not only are these pants made from an incredibly comfortable, lightweight blend of linen and cotton, each pair has been molecularly fortified with the cooling powers of San Francisco’s chilly summer climate!
Imagine a winter skinny dip in the Blue Danube. Or wading hip-deep through a stream of blue-raspberry slushie. We assure you that wearing a pair of Blue Linen Karate Casuals will create more or less the same refreshing feeling. These remarkable drawstring pants are available for a limited time, and only at Betabrand.com.
Sock Insurance: Protect The Ones You Love
As if face-melting heat wasn’t bad enough, Americans continue to suffer the sorrow and indignity of chronic sock loss. Conventional wisdom once held that the only solution was to glue one’s socks to one’s feet. Thank goodness Betabrand recently introduced a line of fully insured socks, including these six beautiful, brand-new styles: Reno Midnight, Pumpkinetic, Happy Hoof, Blue Shindig, Faberge Egg Salad, and Von Truffler.
This revolutionary insurance policy is explained in detail on each sock product page. You may also want to watch the following brief Sock Insurance testimonial, courtesy of Betabrand Model Citizens Will Clarke and Andrew Cole — and their little, self-destructive friend.
Check out the entire Sock Insurance collection right here.
Now In Development: The Disco Tuxedo Jacket
What sort of occasion might call for a galactically grand garment like this? Post your thoughts in the Disco Tuxedo Think Tank. And feel free to leave all other manner of feedback, including gushing praise, steamy dung piles of scorn, and interesting design suggestions. (You can also sign up for product alerts.) Remember, if enough people dig this prototype jacket, we’ll make more!
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Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
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