The Orlando Merengue Interview

Orlando Merengue

We recently had the opportunity to collaborate on a trio of new shorts with controversial designer Orlando Merengue. You may remember him from an unfortunate incident at a Milan fashion show several years ago, when he suffered a nervous breakdown and subsequently super-glued himself to the runway after Kate Moss refused to wear his tarantula bikini. Merengue has since taken up residence in an asylum for the fashionably insane.

Q: Mr. Merengue, what inspired you to work with Betabrand?

A: One day earlier this year, a grotesque man with wings made of cheese flew into my room and told me I must begin designing garments again, lest his beautiful fairy kingdom succumb to the machinations of an evil wizard, who was approximately three inches tall … I decided to make shorts because [unintelligible] and also I feel like they need some cheering up. Isn’t it terrible how trousers like to taunt them? [Admonishes his own soiled pants with a wagging finger.]

Q: The delicate motif of your Mountain Print Shorts. Tell us about that.

Mountain Print Shorts

A: It reminds me of my childhood. Specifically, summer vacations on the moon with Mama and Papa and Esmeralda, our saxophone-playing platypus. I chose to make these shorts from a blend of fine Japanese hemp and organic cotton, because that was, I recall, what our spaceship was made of. [Takes a thoughtful sip from what appears to be an empty glass.]

Q: And what about your other shorts, like those made of handsome red Bedford corduroy?

A:“Red” is what I see when I do not get a second helping of bread pudding at dinner! [A brief period of screaming and chair-tossing ensues.]

Red Bedford Corduroy Shorts

A: And then there’s my soft, cottony Olive Stripe Shorts. Why, who doesn’t love olives? Everyone simply adores them! [Looks around conspiratorially and lowers voice to a whisper.] Do you know who put me in here? Olive farmers, that’s who. They threatened to eat my brain if I didn’t create an article of clothing in their honor. Egotistical fiends!

Olive Stripe Shorts

Q: Any final thoughts on your fantastic new creations?

A: These shorts will only be available for a limited time — and only at Betabrand.com. Also, remember that pork chops can always tell when you’re lying.

 

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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.