Today, we unveil a quartet of new SuckerLab creations. Plus, special San Francisco and Las Vegas events.
Our New, Incredibly Relaxing Hoodies
Our intrepid SuckerLab scientists just returned from months of seersucker field tests in our tropical fashion research facility, located in the steamy jungles of Papua New Guinea. And what did they bring back with them? Dengue fever, a family of tree kangaroos, and, best of all, Seersucker Hoodies for men and women!
Presenting our latest fusion of fashion and science: four ultra-comfy hoodies engineered with unparalleled powers of relaxation. How relaxing? Why, they can mellow the most hotblooded, head-cleaving Viking in seconds — guaranteed! (We invite you to prove us wrong.)
And just how did we create these fantastic hoodies? Contrary to rumor, we didn’t retro-engineer technology we found in a wrecked flying saucer from the planet Xanax. Nor did we manage to grow a new strain of “kind cotton” infused with cannabis DNA.
The simple truth is that we started with the softest, lightest seersucker around. We then employed a team of master Yogic seamstresses to weave a sense of cosmic bliss into every hoodie, while humpback whale song and soft saxophone solos played continuously in the background. Finally, each garment was given a deep-tissue massage and treated to a soothing bath in our proprietary blend of sloth sweat, opium, and chamomile tea.
Like we said, these are some seriously chilled-out hoodies.
Our new Seersucker Hoodies are now available for men (in Blue and Ash-Gray) and women (in Blue and Orange). We made just a limited batch of each, so order yours today. And check out the rest of our new seersucker inventions in the SuckerLab.
Sample Sale / Happy Hour / Fashion Show
If you live in the Bay Area or are fortuitously visiting this Friday (April 13), head down to Betabrand World Headquarters for a chance to buy super-discounted samples, prototypes, and leftovers. There will also be catwalk modeling opportunities, sneak peeks at our latest projects, and gallons of frothy beer.
Festivities will run 5-7:30 p.m. Here’s where we are: 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A. Just give us a ring (800-694-9491) when you get to the front door.
The Great Disco Hackathon
On April 27-29, we’ll be in Las Vegas with some of our DiscoLab-loving developer friends. And what will we be doing besides gambling away our life savings and gorging on seafood buffets? Why, building mobile apps, of course! Care to join in? Write Chris (firstname.lastname@example.org) for more information.
Delacroix Vs. Titanium Slim: A Southern Gentleman Seersucker Adventure!
We leave you now with a splendid seersucker tale of yore: a classic story of man versus gambling machine — specifically, the greatest robotic card shark the South had ever seen! Click here to read more.
Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
email@example.com / 800.694.9491
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