Newsletter keywords: Nonjitsu, springtime flatulence, Dr. Orlando Merengue
Pepper Linen Karate Casuals: Lavish Your Limbs With Linen
Don't like wearing pants when the weather turns warm? Maybe you've been wearing the wrong kind. Woolen trousers are hot and itchy. Pleather pants can melt into goo. And chain-mail chaps? They pose too many problems to count.
Consider instead our Pepper Linen Karate Casuals, incomparably comfy drawstring trousers you can wear year-round, even in the stickiest, sweatiest summers. Here's why: Each pair is lovingly made in our San Francisco pantatorium from some of the lightest, softest linen in the known universe.
And while these trousers are excellent for lazing on the couch, they’re also great for any warm-weather activity that calls for something slightly fancier than shorts. Despite the spicy connotations, we think your legs will find 'em remarkably cool and refreshing.
Additional product information:
Protects legs from sunburn and also localized supernovas.
Covers up that embarrassing “Kickin’ it!” leg tattoo.
Keeps your lower half safely hidden from leg poachers.
Able to repel even the most sophisticated heat-seeking missile.
Voted the official summer trouser of the Fifth, Sixth, and Ninth Circles of Hell.
Can tempt even the most dedicated nudist.
Instantly transforms flatulence into a cool ocean breeze.
The Reversible Bee Skirt: Natural Fashion Selection
Entomologists, rejoice! We've created a beautiful two-sided skirt inspired by the incredibly rare Amazonian Chameleon Bee, discovered just last year by the eminent naturalist Dr. Orlando Merengue.
Our limited-edition Reversible Bee Skirt follows in the long tradition of reversible Betabrand garments — namely our Disco Hoodie and Smoking Jackets. Like its rain-forest counterpart, this skirt has the ability to quickly change color when confronted by strong external stimuli — nocturnal feeding and drinking opportunities, for example. (Unlike the Chameleon Bee, it won't excrete a foul-smelling toxin when angered.)
B-Glasses Contest: Now Accepting Your Most Sublime Silliness
Want to win the first two magical and mysterious products we release in April? Just slap a pair of our virtual B-Glasses on your most fantastically ridiculous photo and upload it to our site. Go to our Model Citizen app and follow the easy instructions. In seconds, you'll be a bona fide Internet fashion sensation — with your very own Model Citizen page on Betabrand.com. Plus, you'll get a gift code good for 10% off your next order.
Now, about that contest. Anyone who uploads a B-Glasses photo will be automatically entered. We'll select two winners: the contestant that gets the most "Likes" on his or her Model Citizen page, and the person submits the flat-out funniest photo (in our humble opinion).
Submissions will be accepted through the end of next week. Winners will be announced that Friday. Now let the uploading commence!
Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
firstname.lastname@example.org / 800.694.9491
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