Newsletter keywords: funny-car exhaust, Mayan Apocalypse, Yeti juice.
Gravestone Sons Of Britches: For All Your Nine Lives
Attention, death-defying stuntmen: Don't you want to wear something more than jeans and a grim, gap-toothed smile once in a while? That’s why we made limited-edition Gravestone Sons of Britches, elegant trousers that sport the same fit, finishes, and remarkable pain threshold as our original, daredevil-approved Sons of Britches Jeans. The only difference: Instead of industrial-strength raw denim soaked in a proprietary brew of ghost peppers, rocket fuel, and Yeti adrenal juice, we used super-comfy cotton canvas.
But don't let their good looks fool you: Gravestone Britches are designed for any rough-and-tumble SOB who flies by the seat of his pants — literally, and often into things like concrete walls and piranha-filled hot tubs. In fact, their color was inspired by the perils of the stuntman lifestyle. We picked a rugged gray (with bloody-stitches stitching) because it reminds us of the all-too-inevitable tomb marker, as well as:
- Goopy gray matter (splattered on the ground after a jet-pack mishap),
Cremains (possibly mixed with TNT residue).
Like most stuntmen, our supply of Gravestone Britches isn't very long for this world. We made just a small batch, so order your pair today!
The Mission Shirt: Mission-Made, Mission-Capable
When we say our new shirt was designed for missions — top-secret and otherwise — we really mean it. After all, it was designed in San Francisco's Mission District, and made in a little sew shop on Mission Street. Need we say more?
OK, we will. The playfully elegant Mission Shirt features black polka dots on a field of lightweight 100% cotton, along with a vintage double-petal collar and bright candy-apple buttons.
But it also has a serious side: When you're ready to roll up your sleeves and get down to business, you'll be pleased to discover that the Mission Shirt is thinking one step ahead.
Rest assured that Betabrand field testers have subjected this garment to all manner of expeditions, adventures, and outings, from black ops in a licorice jellybean factory to a covert infiltration of Milwaukee's infamous underground polka scene.
Want an exciting assignment right now? The Mission Shirt's fun, dotted design includes a secret message in Morse code. Figure it out soon, and you just might avert the Mayan 2012 Apocalypse!
Warning: If you order a Mission Shirt, remember that the box it comes in will self-destruct 10 seconds after being opened.
When products journey to the Sale section of Betabrand.com, they not only get a fantastic new price, they get a new identity. The Black Sheep Sweater becomes the Sasquatch Sweater, Potato Pants turn into Poopy Pants, and a mild-mannered flannel shirt is transmogrified into the utterly confounding Guapo McTaco. Check out this ever-changing lineup of strange-sounding savings right here. And look out for sale alerts in upcoming newsletters as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
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