In today's newsletter: bad mojo, snowman-scorching discounts, gift certificates, and a Xmas Eve invite to Betabrand HQ.
This holiday season, treat yourself to a wonderfully hideous Christmas tree ornament AND give your worst enemy the gift of unrelenting torment with the Betabrand Holiday Voodoo Doll. Today only, we're throwing one in FREE with every order!
We crafted these little fabric Frankensteins from leftover buttons and pant scraps. Then we bathed them in a diabolical potion of crow bile and mojo juice. Finally, they were subjected to a full day of nefarious incantations from the witch doctor we keep on retainer for all juju-related Betabrand projects.
Rest assured that no other Voodoo Doll on the market comes supercharged with this much groin-stabbing schadenfreude. It's the perfect way to warm that chunk of ice you call a heart.
Buy a Holiday Voodoo Doll for just $15, or get one free when you order anything from Betabrand today (while our fairly limited doll supplies last). By the way, we'll make sure that any domestic order placed today arrives no later than Friday.
Holideals: More Spectacular Than Exploding Elves
What sort of dirt does Santa Claus have on Betabrand? Well, we’re not at liberty to discuss the salacious details. Suffice it to say, this corpulent, bearded blackmailer has threatened to expose our secrets unless we hold another big Christmas sale. That’s why we’re now offering discounts up to 55% on 17 popular Betabrand products, including Sons of Winos, Mary-Go-Rounds, Chestnut Cord Shirts, and The World's Most Nauseating Holiday Pants.
Click here to see all the deals.
Gift Certificates: When You Don't Know Their Size, And Care Too Much To Ask
Last-minute holiday shopping got you sweating eggnog?
Relax. Get that extra-special someone a Betabrand Gift Certificate. It's pretty to look at and comes in all sorts of nifty denominations. Less than an hour after you order, we'll e-mail you the certificates(s) in handy-dandy PDF form, suitable for printing or forwarding.
Your Exclusive Invitation To Betabrand HQ
San Franciscans (and visitors to our fair city) who have nothing better to do this week are cordially invited to swing by our palatial headquarters to try on clothes, marvel at our solid-platinum bathroom fixtures, and chat with holly-jolly Betabrand employees.
We'll even be receiving visitors on Christmas Eve. Chris and Matt will be on hand to distribute cookies, answer product questions, and discuss the true meaning of the holidays.
Here's where we are: 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A. Just give us a buzz when you get to the front door (800-694-9491).
Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
email@example.com / 800.694.9491
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