In today's newsletter: an ultra-elegant new coat for the sophisticated souse. Plus, spectacular footage from our official discoceanographer.
We recently received an urgent (and barely legible) letter from our biggest investor, Texas oilman and infamously lecherous lush J.T. Hossman, demanding that we make him an ultra-fancy reversible jacket designed for high-level carousing.
And thus the idea for the Black Dragon Reversible Drinking Jacket was hatched, as if from a Faberge Egg. This limited-edition garment sports the supreme swank and vice-soaked soul of our smoking jackets, but with a sleeker, even more refined design — and less chance of giving you emphysema.
On the outside, it’s a spectacularly handsome coat made of supple black sueded moleskin. Turn it inside out, and a subtle satin brocade is revealed, featuring a den of lusty black dragons in an Oriental motif and a pair of our signature skull buttons. At last, a two-in-one jacket that's ideal for sober negotiations with CEOs and heads of state — and also boozy, late-night attempts to seduce their wives.
Per Mr. Hossman’s exacting specifications, the Black Dragon features large buttons and keyhole buttonholes to accommodate the most butterfingered souse, plus seven flask-sized pockets that can also hold essentials like yacht keys and unwieldy rolls of cash.
For a final touch of over-the-top opulence, Mr. Hossman insisted, despite our accountant’s plaintive howls, that we make this jacket in a city even more ridiculously expensive than San Francisco — Dubai, to be exact. After all, he's an oilman.
Yes, this is a city where the most popular sport is helicopter polo, golden underwear is mandatory, and Monopoly is played with actual hotels, or so we’ve been told. It’s the perfect place to make our most extravagant product yet. Of course, there is a certain irony in making a drinking jacket in a city where alcohol is generally forbidden. (That’s why we’re marketing it in Dubai as the ultimate falconer’s coat.)
We made just 200 Black Dragon Reversible Drinking Jackets, quite possibly the only ones we'll ever produce. Order yours today.
Quick Jacket Facts:
- The moleskin is blacker than an Arabian Black Stallion coated in sweet crude.
- The dragon brocade packs more libidinal punch than a gallon of tiger-penis soup.
- Each thread of material has been hand-soaked in 100-year-old cognac.
- The seven sleek, flask-sized pockets allow you to wear a fully stocked bar.
- This jacket grants you VIP access to Dubai's most exclusive hotspots, including the world's only 7-star hotel — and the world's only 8-star Hooters.
An Underwater Disco Video Adventure
We're delighted to present some beautiful footage from Model Citizen Cynthia Matzke’s latest expedition. Watch as our official discoceanographer and her intrepid team dazzle an array of huge aquatic beasts with their Disco Sport Shorts.
Want a pair of shorts for yourself? They're available now in the Betabrand DiscoLab.
Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
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