Today, we update our popular Karate Casual line with tactical zombie-slaying trousers in desert khaki and game-o-flage. Plus, a new Model Citizen Contest.
AMERICA IS UNDER ATTACK! At this very moment, our fruited plain is being overrun by an all-star Axis of Evil that includes zombies, acid-spurting aliens, and time-traveling Nazi killbots.
Thank goodness for the massive at-home army of U.S. super-soldiers vigilantly manning our nation’s video-game consoles. Otherwise, Washington would now lie in smoldering ruins, and our undead loved ones would be gorging themselves on our unspooled intestines.
For their extraordinary service to our country, these brave couch commandos deserve nothing less than a line of drawstring cargo pants designed specifically for gung-ho gaming.
Our Couch Commandos now come in two new styles: Desert Khaki and, for the ultra-elite warrior, limited-edition Digital Camo, a pixelated mash-up of modern digital camouflage and graphics inspired by classic 8-bit video games. (Because Digital Camos are a pain in the ass to make, we're only producing as many as people request; custom order yours today, and they'll arrive in time for the holidays.)
The Betabrand Quartermaster has also restocked supplies of fan-favorite Black-Ops Black and Olive Drab Couch Commandos as well as our entire line of Karate Casuals — super-comfy pants for indoor action and adventure this winter.
Couch Commandos are made of 100% French-twill cotton, so they’re light and incredibly comfy. But make no mistake: We’ve tailored these military-style trousers for intense virtual combat. They come equipped with six big pockets, including two oversized gusseted cargos that can accommodate several grenades or an emergency ration of Pop-Tarts. Other features include drawstring ankle cinches and an extra-sturdy inseam to help you survive extended tours of duty going to and from the microwave.
While we designed Couch Commandos to meet the rigorous requirements of the U.S. Armchair Forces, rest assured they're great for all your leisurely special ops, like watching football, visiting your favorite watering hole — or, of course, mowing down fire-breathing Commie cyborgs.
Model Citizens: To Arms!
Want to win a pair of new Digital Camo Couch Commandos? Then upload a funny photo of you decked out in Betabrand apparel (not just B-Glasses). If you've never used our Model Citizen app, rest assured it's ridiculously easy. Just click the blue Model Citizen tab on the right side of any Betabrand.com page (or click here) to get started; you'll become an Internet supermodel in seconds. Plus, you'll get $25 off your next order and be entered to win the latest in cutting-edge fatigue fashion. (Contest submissions will be accepted through Tuesday.)
11|11|11 Pants Selling Out Fast!
Only 40 pairs of 11|11|11 Pants remain. This is your last chance to buy Betabrand vertical-corduroy trousers before we come to our senses and burn them all to ashes.
Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
firstname.lastname@example.org / 800.694.9491
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