Betabrand Presents: Gravy Brown’s All-You-Can-Eat 20% Discount Event

Enjoy a live display of gustatory derring-do and save a bundle on all our food fashion. Plus, this is your last chance to custom order Golden Hoodies, Sam Pants, and Vanity Pants.

Betabrand Product Grid

That's right, we're holding a special one-day sale on all our food-related apparel — 20% off all Harvester products, Gluttony Pants, Caperons, and Farmers Market Bags.

Speaking of gluttony, Betabrand Model Citizen and competitive eating sensation Tim "Gravy" Brown has generously agreed to help us celebrate. How? By challenging fellow athlete Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti (ranked #2 in the world!) to a feasting exhibition.

As you fill your virtual shopping cart with an all-you-can-eat assortment of Betabrand food fashion, watch as Gravy and Deep Dish see who can fill themselves with more delicious doughnuts and tasty tofu … while running on a treadmill. Gravy tells us that this will also be excellent preparation for Sunday's Chicago Marathon.

Gravy Mile

We'll be broadcasting the action live from Gravy's secret Chicagoland training facility; pre-game coverage begins around 1:15 Pacific Time today, with the main event commencing at 1:30.

Don't turn on ESPN, and don't bother with Pay-Per-View; you can only see Brown vs. Bertoletti at Betabrand.com. Watch the action LIVE by clicking here.

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Golden Hoodies, Sam Pants, and Vanity Pants: The Custom-Order Deadline Draws Nigh

Today is the very last day the general public can order our three new custom creations! After midnight Pacific Time, these items will be available only to a select roster of Russian oligarchs, Texas oil barons, and Richard Branson.

1. The Reversible Golden Disco Hoodie ($135): Forged from Aztec gold and caressed for days by King Midas, this new golden party garment takes our traditional silvery Disco Hoodie and knocks it up 32 ass-kicking notches on the periodic table.

Golden Hoodie

2. Sam Pants ($80): This is a trouser tribute to North Carolina narcissist Sam Holcombe (known to acolytes as Sam. R. Thyme), winner of our Model Citizen Vanity Contest. Sam won the right to design his own pair of pants, which ended up being electric-blue velveteen trousers with a unique "Faces of Sam" lining. Order a pair today, and help feed this man's insatiable ego.

Sam Pants

3. Vanity Pants ($250): Do you love Sam Pants but would prefer them sans Sam? We understand. That's why Betabrand is offering electric-blue Vanity Pants for folks who want to show off their own insufferably smug mugs. Of course, it takes heroic toil and commensurate cost to create custom vanity clothing, so you need to really, really want these pants. Order today, and we’ll be in touch to arrange the details. Questions? Please e-mail us at matt@betabrand.com.

Vanity Pants

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Betabrand Supercomputer
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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.