Today we honor egotist extraordinaire Sam Holcombe and announce new clothing creations to bring out the preening narcissist in everyone.
The Reversible Golden Disco Hoodie: Be the Fort Knox of Funk
With another batch of silvery Reversible Disco Hoodies in the works, we thought we’d whip up a little metallurgical magic and offer a limited, custom version in shimmering gold. (Our divers recently discovered a sunken Spanish Galleon in San Francisco Bay, so we're now flush with doubloons and other golden goodies we can melt into hoodie form.)
For only $10 more than the price of a standard Disco Hoodie, you’ll be able to sport the coolest 24-carat clothing known to man, woman, or beast.
Of course, you can save that 10 bucks by ordering a standard Disco Hoodie and then turning it to gold yourself with the help of a handy medieval alchemy formula we dug up in the Betabrand archives. (Please e-mail us if interested.)
If that seems like too much work, just order your Reversible Golden Disco Hoodie today, and it’ll arrive by the holidays, possibly as soon as Thanksgiving. Please note that this is an extremely limited-time offer. We’re only accepting Golden Hoodie custom orders through THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6.
Sam Pants & Vanity Pants: For the Man Who Has Everything, Except Pants with His Face in the Pockets
The prophecies are true: The last of man's mortal sins has finally taken garment form! Betabrand has already created six items of clothing that honor humanity's basest instincts. Now we're proud to complete our Seven Sins Collection by offering you a choice of unbelievably vainglorious custom trousers.
1. SAM PANTS ($80): This spring, North Carolina’s Sam Holcombe won our Model Citizen Vanity Contest, allowing us to bestow upon him the title of World's Vainest Man. (Click here to see his incredible winning photo). The prize: the right to design — and have Betabrand sell — a pair of tribute (to himself) trousers. In his infinite wisdom, Sam decided we should make a pair of electric-blue velveteen pants with liners that feature an assortment of his finest faces. Sam insists that we refer to this unique pattern as "Sammertime."
Sam Pants are now available for $80. Celebrate this man's incalculably inflated ego by preordering a pair a pair of these fantastic trousers today. You'll instantly become a member of Sam’s inner circle, which means you get your first beer on the house at Sessions, his craft-beer bar in Greensboro, N.C. Limit one beer per pair of pants — or more, depending on Sam’s mood at the time.
2. VANITY PANTS ($250): Betabrand is also offering trousers for folks who envy Sam so much (also a sin) that they want personalized, electric-blue Vanity Pants of their own. Of course, it takes heroic toil and commensurate cost to create custom vanity clothing, so you need to really, really want these pants. Preorder today, and we’ll be in touch to arrange the details.
Both trousers will be ready in time for the holidays. But remember: You must pre-order by THURSDAY, OCTOBER 6. Questions? Please e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
email@example.com / 800.694.9491
Latest posts by Betabrand Supercomputer (see all)
- 30-Day Dress, Work-to-Evening Dress - October 29, 2015
- Our New Active Blazer: Now In Crowdfunding - October 29, 2015
- Stunt-Tested Jeans For Him, A Performance Top For Her, - October 29, 2015