Sons of Winos Pants, the Pinot Shirt, fermenting socks, and much more.
For years, Bay Area wine connoisseurs have relied on Betabrand to help them properly pair shirts, pants, and jackets with their favorite vintage. And while we’ve relished our role as the sartorial sommelier of San Francisco, we recently decided to take our passion for garb and grape to the next level.
The result: two organic, wine-inspired additions to the Betabrand lineup that are designed to appeal to all tastes — highbrow, lowbrow, and, in some unfortunate cases, the no-brow. Betabrand would like to thank the two local wine experts whose guidance helped make this project possible: the exalted Marquis de Boivin and Gus “Pus” O’Halloran.
The Pinot Shirt
Our new Pinot Shirt is ideal for wine enthusiasts on weekend vineyard adventures. This comfy, casual button-down is made of 100% organic cotton poplin and dyed the rich color of Napa's finest Pinot noir grapes. Rest assured, it's also been engineered to perform under the toughest tasting schedule.
Some other vital information about the Pinot Shirt:
- Before wearing, consider slathering your chest in savory Brie.
- Guaranteed to make you popular with all the Beaujoladies.
- Will earn you a holy high-five from Dionysus.
- Because of its rich grape color, you might get trampled by barefoot peasants.
- Don't get offended when strangers ask to sniff your cork.
- If it stains your teeth, you're wearing it the wrong way.
- Does not contain sulfites.
Sons of Winos Pants
Introducing Betabrand's latest mash-up creation. We mixed the fit and super-sturdy design of our Sons of Britches Jeans with Harvester organic cotton canvas and the juice of the vagrant varietal grape. The result is Sons of Winos: a pair of comfy yet back-alley-tough trousers with the ruddy hue of the Tenderloin's freshest jug wine.
Sons of Winos are perfect for hobo jamborees, romantic boxcar getaways, or just reading by the light of a burning trash barrel. Here are a few additional facts:
- Aged 2-3 hours in plastic drums that once held medical waste; also made with fermented apples and socks.
- Pairs wonderfully with anything batter-fried, or just plain batter.
- Delivered in a reusable brown paper bag.
- Washing unnecessary; color becomes richer with every spill of wine or blood.
- Intoxicating to the eyes and, by osmosis, the legs.
- Tempting as it may be, try not to guzzle.
Cordarounds Deal Extended Through Today
If the Betabrand Supercomputer could talk — that is, talk without a ridiculously bad Australian accent — it would tell you it's sorry. Thanks to a 15-minute Web site flub on Tuesday, some of you might have missed out on a special Cordarounds deal. So, in case you still want to buy some cords, we're extending the sale through today (Sept. 22): Purchase any two pairs of Cordarounds, get $40 off your order!
Please know that the Supercomputer was spanked and sent to its room without supper.
Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110
firstname.lastname@example.org / 800.694.9491
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