Ever heard of Buck Kentucky? Neither had we, until the enigmatic entrepreneur contacted Betabrand about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
When Mr. Kentucky (pictured below) shared his dream of creating and distributing the world’s sweetest, most delicious waffles on a stick, we were enchanted. And when he asked us to be a part of this incredible business venture, we could scarcely believe our good fortune. After all, this was the snack-food savant behind BurgerChug® liquid meat slammers, Brie-flavored bubble gum, and snuff jerky, to name just a few.
Per health department regulations, his newly hired army of waffle-toting street vendors needed to wear pants. So Mr. Kentucky proposed that we outfit them in corduroy trousers designed with a subtle waffle pattern.
Alas, it was only after we had produced several hundred pairs of these new “Wafflecords” that we received a phone call from Interpol, asking for information on the whereabouts of Buck Kentucky –– better known in his native Belgium as the vile swindler Rhys Van Oost!
Seems Mr. Kentucky had purchased heavily discounted maple syrup from a shadowy Ukrainian syrup syndicate, which had harvested it from maple trees growing near Chernobyl. Now, several hundred Belgians who had participated in waffle taste tests were suffering the early stages of gigantism and Freundlich’s Swatting Disease.
With global law enforcement hot on his trail, this criminal mastermind has fled for parts unknown, and we’ve been left holding the bag –– a bag containing hundreds of pairs of pants. At least we can say they’re some of the best-looking pants we’ve ever made.
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