In today's newsletter: Carrot Pants and Pepper Hoodies, free T-Shirts, shocking tabloid attacks, New York Times redemption, and a Mary-Go-Rounds video adventure.
Direct from the lush fields of Betabrand Farms, we're pleased to introduce Carrot Pants and Serrano Pepper Hoodies, the newest bumper crops in our Harvester Collection. As you might recall, we release new Harvester products in accordance with the California harvest calendar. At long last, you can wear clothes that are in season fashionably and agriculturally!
These unique, two-tone drawstring trousers are made from a blend of organic cotton and recycled polyester, giving them a softness and comfy fit you'll never find in a pair of pants made from actual carrots — guaranteed.
Carrot Pants feature green bar-tack stitching, an embroidered waist tie, and a signature carrot print on the inside. Here's some additional product information:
- Wearing Carrot Pants regularly will give your legs 20/20 vision.
- May give your skin a John Boehner-like hue.
- They’re the only pants that deliver your recommended daily allowance of Betabrandcarotene.
- All-natural dyeing technique uses organic carrot juice and the blood of Carrot Top.
- Unofficial taproot-themed drawstring trouser of the San Francisco Giants.
- A word of caution: Carrot Pants could provoke mutant rabbit attacks.
The Serrano Hoodie
Next up, our new Serrano Pepper Hoodie, the only garment that comes with its own Scoville rating. This lightweight hoodie is made from a 100% organic cotton knit with a super-soft fleece backing. It sports five roomy pockets, including a pair of front cargos big enough to hold nearly a peck of pickled peppers.
Inside, the Serrano Hoodie features a dark green contrast on the back yoke and a signature pepper print on the right flap. And here's some additional information of great import:
- More than 100 seamstresses spontaneously combusted while sewing these hoodies.
- May occasionally cause fiery jets to erupt from your armpits.
- Should not be touched before using the restroom.
- Official capsicum-themed hoodie of the Oakland Athletics.
- Rates a blistering 100,000 on the Scoville Scale — and an astonishing 1,000,000 on the Bro-ville Scale.
- They're so hot, Indian pepper-eating sensation Anandita Dutta Tamuly could consume only five.
Don’t bother with your local farmers market; limited-edition Carrot Pants and Serrano Hoodies are available only in the Betabrand Store. While you're there, check out the rest of the Harvester Collection, which includes our 100% organic cotton Blueberry Craftsman Pants, Fava Craftsman Pants, and Cherry Shirt.
Free 'Harvest of Doom' T-Shirt!
Today only, order any Harvester product and we'll throw in a free Harvester T-shirt, which features the most fearsome, gun-toting gang of fruits and veggies you've ever seen — perfect for frightening your foes at the farmers market.
Star Magazine Knocks Us Down, The New York Times Picks Us Up
We were recently gripped by soul-crushing despair after learning how Star Magazine, that even-handed arbiter of fashion and trusted celebrity-flab-information clearinghouse, had dealt Regis Philbin a sartorial smackdown for wearing a star-spangled Caperon. How cruel and utterly ironic, Star Magazine!
Our faith in media is now restored. We hope yours is, too.
Model Citizen Command Center
Congratulations to Model Citizen extraordinaire Michael Goddard! His action-packed video wowed our pants off. Luckily, his stayed on.
Because we featured his submission this week, Mr. Goddard wins a pair of Harvester Craftsman Pants!
Want to enjoy supermodel status and get free stuff like Michael? Then send us funny photos or videos that show you wearing some of our clothes. We'll feature a new Model Citizen every week.
Photo submitters should use our handy-dandy Model Citizen app. Just click the green Model Citizen tab on the right side of any Betabrand.com page (or just click here) and then upload your photo. Watch as you instantly transform into a Betabrand fashion sensation!
Pants-related props to this week's Model Citizen runners-up.
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