Betabrand Presents: The Return of the Cornucopia Bag

 

In today's newsletter: Two new backpacks, a slew of funny fan photos, and first blood is drawn in the Model Citizen Karate Tournament.

 

Orange and Green Cornucopia Bag

 

Our ever-popular Cornucopia Bag has finally returned in two new limited-edition colors: Valencia Orange and Evergreen. It's the world's first dual sack/backpack specifically designed for farmers market shopping. Not surprisingly, it's also the ideal cure for what grocery psychologists refer to as Farmers Market Frustration (FMF), a malady that afflicts countless Americans every year. Think you might suffer from FMF? Then read on.

 

Green Cornucopia Bag

Orange Cornucopia Bag

 

FMF arises from a chronic deficiency of suitable shopping bags. Symptoms generally include buying only as much as you can cradle in your hands or under your armpits, or scavenging flimsy plastic bags that break on your way home. Trying to haul your harvest while riding a bike only worsens the condition.

 

Left untreated, FMF can lead to full-blown Produce Psychosis. Just last month, for example, a San Francisco shopper with an armful of veggies climbed to the top of Coit Tower and pelted passerby with turnips for nearly an hour.

 

This unfortunate incident could have been prevented so easily with a dual-mode Cornucopia Bag.

 

Green Cornucopia Bag

 

Mode #1 (Sack): When you’re ready to shop, just sling the Cornucopia Bag over your shoulder and start shoveling produce into its gaping maw. Stacked compartments let you separate items and better spread their weight.

 

Mode #2 (Backpack): When it's time to head home, slap the bag on your back and away you go. When you're not out foraging, the Cornucopia Bag comes equipped with a laptop sleeve and plenty of space for all your non-foodstuff stuff.

 

Features: outer backpack straps; inner shoulder strap; cash pocket; laptop sleeve; hooking pocket pouches that separate or release to create a full cylinder; and lots and lots of of room — it's 2.5 times the size of a standard-issue EcoTote, and much friendlier on the fingers.

 

Orange Cornucopia Bag

Green Cornucopia Bag

 

Get ready to go shopping — not schlepping! No matter what you're stocking up on, Cornucopia Bags help you in the long haul. They're available now for a limited time, and only in the Betabrand store.

 

Orange Cornucopia Bag

 

____________________________________________________________

 

Model Citizen Weekend Roundup

 

Last week, we asked Model Citizens new and old to submit the finest photographic evidence of their Betabrand-related ridiculousness. And many responded with the sort of creativity and gusto typically reserved for the intoxicated and mentally unbalanced. Here are some of our favorites.

 

Model Citizen RoundupModel Citizen Roundup

Model Citizen RoundupModel Citizen Roundup

Model Citizen RoundupModel Citizen Roundup

Model Citizen RoundupModel Citizen Roundup

Model Citizen RoundupModel Citizen Roundup

Model Citizen RoundupModel Citizen Roundup

 

Remember, it's always laughably easy to become a Betabrand fashion superstar. Click the green Model Citizen tab on the right side of any Betabrand.com page (or just click here) and then upload your photo. In seconds, you'll have a link you can share with friends, family, and anyone who refuses to have sex with you until you achieve some measure of notoriety.

 

____________________________________________________________

 

Enter the Dragon, Then Enter Our Model Citizen Karate Tournament

 

With his dying breath, wise Master Wu of the Indomitable Dragon Counsel asked Betabrand to host the greatest karate tournament the online clothing industry had ever seen. Who were we to refuse his request?

Black Karate

 

Want to achieve martial-arts immortality? Then enter our the Model Citizen Karate Tournament! Just use our Model Citizen app to upload the silliest, most awesomely action-packed photo of you in a pair of Karate Casual pants or shorts. We'll select a fistful of the finest submissions to compete for the ultimate prize! (That is to say, a very large trophy.) Submissions will be accepted though Sunday.

 

Karate Tourney

 

____________________________________________________________

THE BETABRAND FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

Betabrand Puma

 

See other Betabrand fans face-to-face on our Facebook fan page. This is our message board, rumor mill, lightning-deal depot, and Model Citizen HQ.

 

Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110

____________________________________________________________

Betabrand Supercomputer
Follow Me

Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
Follow Me

Latest posts by Betabrand Supercomputer (see all)

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.