Betabrand Presents: A Karate Casual Summer

 

In today's newsletter: Heat-resistant linen trousers, Disco Hoodie pre-orders, and a kickoff to our Model Citizen Karate Tournament.

 

Red Spice Linen

 

Is it wrong to wear pants in the summer? Of course not, so long as they’re the right kind of pants. Woolen trousers are hot and itchy, pleather pants can melt into goo, and chain-mail chaps pose too many problems to count.

 

Betabrand wants to remind you that there are alternatives. Like our line of Karate Casuals, the magically comfy drawstring trousers you can wear all sticky, sweaty summer long. Each pair is lovingly made in our San Francisco pantatorium from some of the lightest, softest materials on the planet, like French cotton twill, seersucker, hemp — and now linen.

 

Black Pepper Linen

 

Say hello to Linen Karate Casuals, our newest and most snazz-tastic drawstring pants. Like all Karate Casuals, they're designed for the more relaxed forms of martial artistry. (You may find it helpful to read up on non-jitsu and the 11 Sacred Stripes.) And while these fine linen trousers are excellent for lazing on the porch, they're also great for any summertime activity that calls for something slightly fancier than shorts. We think you'll find them remarkably refreshing.

 

Brief Guide to the Cooling Powers of the Linen Karate Casual Trouser


• Protects your legs from sunburn and also localized supernovas.
• Will develop a layer of permafrost if not laundered regularly.
• Can tempt even the most fantical nudist.
• Able to repel even the most sophisticated heat-seeking missile.
• Will possibly cause lonely Abominable Snowmen to mount you.
• Voted the official summer trouser of the Fifth, Sixth, and Ninth Circles of Hell.
• Instantly transforms flatulence into a cool ocean breeze.
• Keeps your lower half safe from leg poachers.
• Only pants capable of cooling Rod Stewart's Hot Legs.
• Warning: Tongues may stick to it.

 

Red Spice Linen

 

Black Pepper Linen

 

Linen Karate Casuals are available now in Black Pepper and Red Spice. You'll find them only in the Betabrand store, along with the rest of the Karate Casual line, including Couch Commandos, Pot-Docs, Black Karate Casuals, Bruce Lees, and Mary-Go-Rounds.

 

Red Spice Linen

 

Black Pepper Linen

 

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Disco Hoodies Are (Almost) Here!

 

Congratulations to super-patriot Lance Simmons, winner of our July 4th Model Citizen Challenge. He's getting the very first Disco Hoodie on the planet!

 

Lance Simmons

 

But don't worry, more limited-edition Disco Hoodies are on their way. Very soon now, we'll retrieve the rest of them from the International Space Station, where they're undergoing final rounds of zero-gravity and solar-flare testing.

 

Because so many Disco aficionados have already signed up for the Disco Hoodie Alert, we've decided to offer them the chance to pre-order in the extremely near future. If you want to pre-order but haven't signed up for an alert, just go to the Disco Hoodie page and click the Alert Me! button.

 

Disco Hoodie

 

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Enter the Dragon, Then Enter Our Model Citizen Karate Tournament

 

With his dying breath, wise Master Wu of the Indomitable Dragon Counsel asked Betabrand to host the greatest karate tournament the online clothing industry had ever seen. Who were we to refuse his request?

 

Black Karate

 

Want to achieve martial-arts immortality? Then enter the First Annual Betabrand Karate Tournament! The only requirement is that you own a pair of pants or shorts from our Karate Casual collection. Upload your silliest, most awesomely action-packed photo using our Model Citizen app. We'll select a fistful of the finest submissions to compete for the ultimate prize! (That is to say, a very large trophy.) Submissions will be accepted though Sunday.

 

Karate Tourney

 

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THE BETABRAND FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

 

See other Betabrand fans face-to-face on our Facebook fan page. This is our message board, rumor mill, lightning-deal depot, and Model Citizen HQ.

 

Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110

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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.