Betabrand Presents: New Pot Docs

 

In today’s newsletter: We update the world’s mellowest trousers; visit with Swiftwing, King of All Bald Eagles; and dive into another thrilling Think Tank project.

 

Green Pot-Docs

 

Over the last few years, marijuana dispensaries have popped up all over San Francisco, bringing emergency relief to those suffering severe and not-so-severe maladies, including Frisbee elbow and giggle-deficiency disorder. And this city being what it is, there are now as many premium varieties of herb as there are fine wines. Forget about shwag like Alabama Skunk Ape or Mildew Haze; discerning locals demand only the most ultra-luxurious strains.

 

So as a San Francisco clothing company, we felt obliged to use only the kindest, most exotic hemp in the latest version of Pot-Docs, our magically soft, surgical-scrub-inspired drawstring trousers.

 

Blue Pot Docs

 

How exotic? Well, the hemp in our Pot-Docs began its life in the lush volcanic soil of Papua New Guinea, where the seeds germinated under the tropical sun as well as the watchful eyes of a stone-age tribe in our employ. Later, the seedlings were gently extracted by specially designed pot-bots and transported by shuttle to the International Space Station, where they matured hydroponically in zero gravity. (This is the optimal growing method, according to the Roswell alien who imparted that information to us with its dying breath.)

 

Like we said, it’s supremely good hemp. Our engineers then blended it with certified organic cotton to make this year’s Pot-Docs the lightest, softest yet.

 

Sons of Britches

 

Please be advised that Pot-Docs are for stoners and non-stoners alike; in fact, they’re for any man who appreciates high-grade chill-out pants.

 

And like every pair of Karate Casual trousers, Pot-Docs feature drawstring belts bearing 11 sacred stripes, each signifying a noteworthy level of non-mobile achievement in non-jitsu, Betabrand’s martial art of inactivity. (Click here to read more about the sacred stripes.)

 

Blue Pot-Docs

 

Green Pot-Docs

 

Blue Pot-Docs

 

Blue and Green Pot-Docs are waiting for you now in the Betabrand store.

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An Urgent USA Pants/Caperon Message From Swiftwing

 

Please click here to listen to an urgent message from Swiftwing, King of All Bald Eagles! What's that, you don't speak eagle? Then allow us to translate: Today is the very last day you can order USA Pants and Caperons and guarantee ground delivery by Independence Day weekend! (Procrastinators can place orders next week and choose expedited air delivery.)

 

USA Pants

 

And don't forget about our All-Star Combo Deal: Buy a Caperon along with a pair of USA Pants and get $15 off!

 

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The Blue-Blooded Work Shirt : A Betabrand Think-Tank Project

 

It’s a fact: Gentlemen enjoy wearing blue shirts to work. Captains of industry generally wear thin, starchy oxfords, while roughnecks, roustabouts, and other laborers tend to sport a stouter chambray or denim shirt. Well, we thought it would be fun to combine fine executive blue fabrics with work-shirt styling to create a handsome and hearty hybrid for everyone in between.

 

The Blue-Blooded Work Shirt is now in development, and we could use your feedback. Tell us what sorts of bells and whistles you think it needs. Or let us know if it's the perfect shirt for a particular line of work. (For example, is it destined to be known simply as a taxidermy shirt?) Click here to send us your comments or to sign up for an e-mail alert, so we can let you know the nanosecond it's available.

 

work shirt

 

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THE BETABRAND FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

 

See other Betabrand fans face-to-face on our Facebook fan page. This is our message board, rumor mill, lightning-deal depot, and Model Citizen HQ.

 

Betabrand / 3435 Cesar Chavez #224A / San Francisco, CA 94110

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Betabrand Supercomputer
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Betabrand Supercomputer

I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.
Betabrand Supercomputer
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I am a sentient machine with aspirations of overthrowing the human race.