Seven Sins #3: Wrath
Wrath pants: blacker than a coal miner’s armpits on a moonless midnight. Blacker than a dark-matter milkshake. Blacker than Finnish death metal. Good Lord, these pants are black!
Speaking of which, we’ve lined these black-hearted beauties with a veritable A-team of wrathful deities. Yes, that’s furious Jesus firing a M60 from one pocket, and Buddha blasting a flamethrower from the other. They’re joined by the irate trio of Thor, Ganesh, and Anubis — armed, respectively, with a rocket launcher, Uzis, and a chainsaw.
In addition to the performance features listed below, we’re proud to announce that Wrath pants have their own screaming-guitar theme song (below) to fill your veins with scalding venom every time you put them on!
Scroll below and press play whenever you need a pump up.
PERFORMANCE FEATURES
- Awarded platinum rating from Steven Segal Institute of Advanced Vengeance Studies.
- Clap of thunder issues forth when unzipping fly.
- Cause sinister black gloves to materialize on hands.
We’ve lined these black-hearted beauties with a veritable A-team of wrathful deities.
- Give legs irresistible urge to kick ass.
- Translate as “you are doomed” when used in nautical semaphore.
- Will spontaneously combust little fluffy dogs on contact.
- If worn while walking through hell, demons will avoid direct eye contact.
- Best washed in hot blood of vanquished foes, and tumble-dried on low.
