So, just how soft is Vagisoft? Let us explain:
Once upon a time, the world of tactile technology was satisfied with “soft as a baby’s bottom” as the measure of absolute softness. Anyone who dared name something “softer than” the aforementioned infant’s posterior was suggesting a theoretical world of soft that existed beyond anything man could conceive.
Then Betabrand researchers invented the Tactile Soft-O-Meter®, a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness. Using this newfound knowledge, they were able to create a blanket so ineffably comfy, test subjects had to be unwrapped from it with the Jaws of Life!
But to the chagrin of our marketing department, the Soft-O-Meter indicated that the fabric
The Tactile Soft-O-Meter® is a device that can detect and compare the density of softrons, the subatomic units of softness.
measured “Vagisoft” within a standard deviation of one softron. Vagisoft? Well, we decided that if the Soft-O-meter says it, so be it!
Vagisoft is the second-softest fabric in the known universe. For a thorough scientific explanation of this miracle material, click the Read Up! button.