Payback-Blacks: Pants with Built-in Silencers

Why are Cordarounds the preferred pant of secret agents, ninjas, and justice-seeking vigilantes like the indomitable Ted Fist (seen below)? That’s easy: The meshing wales of these wonderpants allow for effortlessly swish-free sneakabouts — no vrrt-vrrts, woosh-wooshes, or other onomatopoeic tip-offs that you’re on the prowl.

Most of our customers are, in fact, employed in professions requiring the utmost stealth as well as a high degree of proficiency with throwing stars. So we thought it was time to make a pair of pants styled just for them: Payback-Black Cordarounds. These midweight trousers are styled with sapphire blue pockets and liners. Everything else on them is cold, heartless, and black. Believe us, they mean business.

Whatever your shadowy vocation may be, you’ll appreciate the attention to detail we’ve mercilessly applied to every pair. The buttons are smelted from dueling pistols, the corduroy is dyed with raven’s bile, and they’re sewn with the silk of the world’s most spiteful black widow spider.

Paired with a stylish balaclava or ghillie suit, nothing’s more dashing (or slashing!) than Payback-Blacks. Be sure to get yours before they slip off silently into the night.