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Genuine Sasquatch-Wool Sweater
HOW DOES IT FIT?
Comfortably — loose enough to move around in, but not baggy. Choose your size like you're shopping for a T-shirt. If you're between sizes, choose the smaller one.
HOW DO I CARE FOR IT?
Like any garment made from raw wool, the Sasquatch Sweater is dry clean only. To give it an authentic "wild" look, rub occasionally with berries, dirt, and bear scat.
Since time immemorial, the hair of the Sasquatch has been prized by clothing manufacturers for its color, texture, and unique earthy aroma. But this shy creature's reclusive nature — and occasional propensity for sudden and terrible acts of violence — has made genuine Sasquatch-wool garments nearly impossible to find. Until now!
Introducing our new, limited-edition Sasquatch Sweater. Each beautiful garment is knitted from 100% pure Bigfoot fur, shorn from our free-range herd in the Cascade Mountains.
Know that our Sasquatch are lovingly raised on an all-organic diet of berries, roots, and fresh salmon, giving their fur a robust character that's been compared favorably to the finest black-sheep wool.
Also, rest assured that these garments contain no more than residual amounts of Sasquatch musk, ensuring that sweater-wearers may visit the forests of the Pacific Northwest during mating season with only moderate fear of romantic entanglement.
A better sweater begins with a happy Sasquatch: Our herd enjoys soothing massages and regular pan-flute performances.
Like the Sasquatch itself, these sweaters are liable to disappear at any moment. Order yours today — only at Betabrand.com.