Since time immemorial, the hair of the Sasquatch has been prized by clothing manufacturers for its color, texture, and unique earthy aroma. But this shy creature's reclusive nature — and occasional propensity for sudden and terrible acts of violence — has made genuine Sasquatch-wool garments nearly impossible to find. Until now!
Introducing our new, limited-edition Sasquatch Sweater. Each beautiful
garment is knitted from 100% pure Bigfoot fur, shorn from our free-range
herd in the Cascade Mountains.
Know that our Sasquatch are lovingly raised on an all-organic diet of
berries, roots, and fresh salmon, giving their fur a robust character
that's been compared favorably to the finest black-sheep
Also, rest assured that these garments contain no more than residual amounts of
Sasquatch musk, ensuring that sweater-wearers may visit the forests of the Pacific
Northwest during mating season with only moderate fear of romantic entanglement.
A better sweater begins with a happy Sasquatch: Our
herd enjoys soothing massages and regular pan-flute
Like the Sasquatch itself, these sweaters are liable to disappear at any
moment. Order yours today — only at Betabrand.com.