It Feels Good To Be Suckered
Praise science and the incredible times we live in!
Betabrand has now fabricated seersucker that goes sideways instead of up-and-down. The result: quite possibly the coolest shorts ever invented! The secret is our patented ThermoSucka cooling technology.
See, not all seersucker is created equal. As any reputable professor of thermodynamics will tell you, the vertical grooves of traditional seersucker shorts can form an uncomfortable, often incendiary, column of superheated air that gets whisked toward the gonad zone at hypersonic speed. Thank goodness our fashion engineers designed horizontal seersucker that deflects this invisible menace — safeguarding you from spontaneous crotch combustion. Whew!
Please consult the handy diagram at right for a fuller explanation of this phenomenon. (Thanks to Nasa and the Swedish Academy of Science for their invaluable assistance.)
Spontaneous crotch combustion? No thank you!
And for more product details, just roll over the Design Specs button.
Like all our SuckerLab inventions, these shorts won't stick around for long. We made just a limited batch, so order yours today.