Christmas-sweater-party season is almost upon us! And while Betabrand applauds the notion of wearing that supremely hideous macrame turtleneck knit by your Aunt Gertrude, we think it’s only appropriate to delight your fellow partygoers with a truly awful ensemble. Hence, our limited-edition Nauseating Holiday Pants!

Oh no, silly Mrs. Claus used rotten cream in her eggnog, and now everyone at the North Pole is as sick as can be! Santa’s puking presents! Rudolph’s retching candy canes! The floor of Santa’s workshop is a steaming fetid mess!

Lucky for you, we were able to lovingly recreate this scene on a pair of trousers. We hope you’ll agree that this is some of the most ho-ho-horrendous holiday apparel you’ve ever seen. (Need even more nausea in your life? We also made a matching apron.)

The Facts

Retch-Inducing Red Pants with Yuletide Liner

HOW DO THEY FIT?
Straight legged, relaxed fit. Not baggy. These pants tend to run a bit large, so if you don't know your exact waist size, be conservative. Between sizes? Order a size down.

WHAT IF MY INSEAM IS 30″ OR 34″?
We’re a small business, so we offer only a couple of lengths right now. Fortunately, any tailor can hem our pants to a great fit.

HOW DO I CARE FOR THEM?
Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. (They're pre-washed.)

VITAL STATISTICS
• Fabric: 100% stomach-churning cotton.
• Silver snowflake button.
• Made in San Francisco.