Presenting our latest fusion of fashion and science: an ultra-comfy seersucker hoodie engineered with unparalleled powers of relaxation. How relaxing? Why, it can mellow the most bloodthirsty Viking in seconds, guaranteed! (We invite you to prove us wrong.)
Contrary to rumor, we didn’t retro-engineer technology found in a wrecked flying saucer from the planet Xanax. Nor did we manage to grow a new strain of "kind cotton" infused with cannabis Dna.
The simple truth is that we started with the softest, lightest seersucker around. Then we employed a team of master Yogic seamstresses to weave a sense of cosmic peacefulness into each hoodie, while humpback whale song
Each garment was treated to a soothing bath in our proprietary blend of sloth sweat, opium, and chamomile tea.
and soft saxophone solos played continuously in the background.
Finally, these garments were treated to a deep-tissue massage, followed by a soothing bath in our proprietary blend of sloth sweat, opium, and chamomile tea.
Now that's one chilled-out hoodie.