AMERICA IS UNDER ATTACK! At this very moment, our fruited plain is being overrun by an all-star Axis of Evil that includes zombies, acid-spurting aliens, and time-traveling Nazi killbots.
Thank goodness for the massive at-home army of U.S. super-soldiers vigilantly manning our nation’s video-game consoles! Otherwise, Washington would now lie in smoldering ruins, and our undead loved ones would be gorging themselves on our unspooled intestines.
For extraordinary service to their country, these brave couch commandos deserve nothing less than a line of drawstring cargo pants designed specifically for gung-ho gaming.
Couch Commandos are made of 100% French-twill cotton, so they’re light and incredibly comfy. But make no mistake: We’ve tailored these trousers for intense virtual combat.
While we designed Couch Commandos to meet the rigorous requirements of the U.S. Armchair Forces, rest assured they're great for all your leisurely special ops.
They come equipped with six big pockets, including two oversized gusseted cargos that can accommodate several grenades or an emergency ration of Pop-Tarts. Other features include drawstring ankle cinches and an extra-sturdy inseam to help you survive extended tours of duty going to and from the microwave.
While we designed Couch Commandos to meet the rigorous requirements of the U.S. Armchair Forces, rest assured they're great for all your leisurely special ops, like watching football, visiting your favorite watering hole — and, of course, mowing down fire-breathing Commie cyborgs.
French Twill Khaki Pants
with Blood-Red Liner
HOW DO THEY FIT?
Relaxed, like lounge pants.
HOW ARE THEY SIZED
Glad you asked. Here's a sizing guide:
HOW DO I CARE FOR THEM?
Machine wash cold, tumble dry on low.