Introducing the Martial Art of Non-Jitsu
Our Karate Casuals are designed for around-the-house use but can be worn outside as well, should you grown weary of a diet of frozen pizza. These super-comfy drawstring trousers are made of 100% seersucker — preferred fabric of porch-sitters, lay-abouts, and the low-pulsed. No
In the Betabrand dojo, you start with the 11th degree, then degrade over time as you grow less disciplined.
buttons, zippers, or other contrivances to complicate your pant-wearing experience. Just cinch ‘em with a sturdy, 1-inch black belt that comes handsomely decorated with 11 stripes.
Why 11? Because by owning a pair of Karate
Casuals, you instantly earn an 11th degree black belt in non-jitsu, our martial art of inactivity.
Unlike other schools of martial arts, which
require years of devotion to earn a black belt, in the Betabrand dojo you start with the 11th degree, then degrade over time as you grow less disciplined.
The 11 Sacred Degrees of Non-jitsu
Stripe 1 — Drooling Eagle: You refresh yourself not by washing, but by tumbling in the dryer with several Country Mist-scented Bounce sheets.
Stripe 2 — Slouching Crane: You bravely wear the same pair of pants from Friday evening through Monday morning.
Stripe 3 — Drowsy Hound: You and your dog share six bags of buttered popcorn.
Stripe 4 — Ambivalent Yak: You abstain from needless flossing.
Stripe 5 — Recumbent Platypus: You buy your clothes online in order to spend more quality time with your computer.
Stripe 6 — Dozing Toad: You successfully demonstrate all 16 Taoist principles of couch sitting.
Stripe 7— Lazing Cobra: You are able to activate The Clapper telepathically.
Stripe 8 — Stoned Panda: You live on a diet of microwave-only foods for one year.
Stripe 9 — Slothful Sloth: You know all the answers in the Family Feud Fast-Money round.
Stripe 10 — Sleeping Bee: Your Second Life avatar spends most of his time napping and watching TV.
Stripe 11 — Silent Orangutan: Owner gets all his news from Betabrand newsletters.
