Earlier this year, a team of Betabrand fashion archaeologists made a stunning discovery in Egypt’s famous Valley of the Kings. While digging for remains near the Temple of Karnak, they stumbled across the lost tomb of the libertine pharaoh Smutankhamun, better known as King Smut.

Smutankhamun was the inventor of pornoglyphics — the Hef of his time — therefore the most envied man in the ancient world. Under his lusty rule, the kingdom of Egypt enjoyed a period of nearly non-stop action. Even mummies went unclothed.

Not only did our team unearth the sarcophagus of this legendary lecher, they also found his fabled golden trousers, known to possess libidinal forces more powerful than the mighty Nile.