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The Teeny, Weeny Discokini
We certify that every Disco Bikini Top is made from 100% pure disconium, the rarest, shiniest substance in the known universe — traditionally used to make the world's very finest disco balls.
Don't be fooled by synthetic knockoffs made from cubic disconium. And stay clear of clothiers who insist that Disconite™ Bikinis are equally lustrous. Sure, they sparkle, but they also smell like rotten octopus.
Why is this bikini top so special? Because genuine disconium ore is found in only one place on Earth: an icy subterranean cavern deep beneath the most remote corner of Antarctica. While we can't divulge details of our mining operation, rest assured that the thousands of Emperor Penguins in our employ are well-fed and receive regular bathroom and cigarette breaks.
Here's some more important information:
- Disconium is the 120th element on the periodic table. It's heavier than neon, funkier than palladium, and significantly sexier than Einsteinium.
- When you put on a Disco Bikini Top, stone-age tribesmen may worship you as their omnipotent sun-goddess. Don't disappoint them.
- Warning! The magnetic properties of this garment increase exponentially when exposed to beach and pool parties, creating an irresistible attraction between you and nearby lips, liquor, and licentious behavior.
The Disco Bikini Top is available for a limited time — and only at Betabrand.com. (Disco Track Shorts sold separately.)
The Facts
Disco Bikini Top
HOW DOES IT FIT?
Our Bikini Top fits true to size, with a full-coverage halter silhouette and a wide band for comfort. Designed for cup sizes A-D.
HOW IS IT SIZED?
Consult the sizing guide below.
HOW DO I CARE FOR IT?
Hand wash cold, line dry.
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VITAL STATISTICS
- Halter tie.
- Removable cups.
- Back hook closure.
- Made of highly breathable (but not see-through!) poly/spandex.
- Designed to be worn with Disco Track Shorts.
