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Smoothatron 3000

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What size am I?

Not sure what size you are?

Match the fit of this item against your wardrobe favorite.
Shipping Information

Make, Care, & Fit

How does it fit?

The Disco Kimono fits loosely, like the finest Japanese dojo-wear. If you're unsure of your size, it's safer to order on the smaller side.

How do I care for it?

Hand wash cold, line dry, cool iron.

How is it sized?

Glad you asked. Here's a quick guide:

 Center Back length
XXS42 1/2"
XS45 1/2"
S48 1/2"
M51 1/2"
L54 1/2"
XL54 1/2", and wider in the chest
disco kimono

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Shipping Rates & Delivery Times


  • Type Cost Estimated Delivery Time
  • Standard Shipping $6.95 5-7 business days
  • 3-Day Shipping $16.95 3 business days
  • Next-Day Shipping $26.95 1 business day
  • Crowdfunded Products (ship separately from in-stock products) FREE Standard Shipping 5-7 business days


  • Type Cost Estimated Delivery Time
  • Standard Int'l Mail $25* 5-21 business days
  • Expedited Worldwide $40 and up*† 2-5 business days
  • Crowdfunded Products (ship separately from in-stock products) $25* 5-21 business days

*does not include customs/duties
†varies based on location and package weight

Local Pick Up

  • Type Cost Estimated Delivery Time
  • In-Store Pick Up 780 Valencia St. — San Francisco FREE Ready within 72 hours (in-stock products) We'll email you when your order is ready.


  • Type Cost Estimated Delivery Time
  • FREE Shipping FREE 5-21 business days (depending on location)
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Disco Kimono With Black Satin Lining and Sash

The Reversible Disco Kimono

Recently, we were visited by a gentleman claiming to be a Japanese time-traveler. While we didn't appreciate his brusque manner — specifically, his continuous warnings about an imminent apocalypse — we couldn't help but be impressed by his shimmering ensemble, particularly his eye-catching kimono. In fact, our fashion engineers recently developed a shimmering replica!

This wondrous reversible garment is covered in pure disconium — the shiniest substance in the known universe — with a lining of luxurious black satin. It alsos feature a pair of generous pockets on each side, plus a robe tie.

The one-of-a-kind Disco Kimono is available for a limited time — and only at

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Questions? If there's anything else you want to know about this product, please contact us.