Mary sightings are pouring in from across the country! Why, just last week, Ted Tippler of Nashua, Wisconsin, saw the Virgin Mary in a plate of corned beef hash.
In a Miami suburb, dermatologist Orlando Merengue sighted the blessed visage in a slew of heat rashes.
And Friday night at the Skoal International Speedway, funny-car champ Flo Chacon’s epic peel-out lofted a ghostly contrail that bore a distinct resemblance to the Madonna — or Lady Gaga, depending on your vantage point.
Coincidence? We think not. In fact, these seem like divine signs that it's time for you to order a pair of Mary-Go-Rounds. These miraculous drawstring pants are guaranteed to feature at least five Marys, or your money back!