Our Global-Warming Garment
If climatologists, Mayan prophets, and Al Gore are all correct, a catastrophic combo of brain-broiling heat and Biblical flooding is just around the corner. So you may want to consider preparing for the worst. And why not start with your wardrobe!
In light of the coming apocalypse, we tasked our fashion engineers to develop a new type of trouser to keep legs cool no matter how scorching our Co2-choked atmosphere becomes. We also insisted that this garment have the ability to stay dry, even as oceans levels rise toward knee level.
Here's what they came up with: a revolutionary trouser design that we call "half-pants," "knee toppers," or, in scientific parlance, "shorts."
Not only are these limited-edition shorts designed to weather moderate-to-severe flooding, each pair comes equipped with a light, ultra-comfy blend of hemp and organic cotton to ensure maximum leg and crotch cooling.
Stay cool and comfy during catastrophic climate change.
We implore everyone — even trouser traditionalists and those suffering shy-shin syndrome — to put aside their apprehension and embrace this new technology. Before it's too late.
For more product details, just roll over the Design Specs button.