Preposterously Patriotic Pants
Betabrand is proud to offer the world’s most preposterously patriotic pants. With star-spangled legs and striped pockets, they’re Old Glory in trouser form. Consider their unrivaled qualifications:
- Lovingly hand-stitched by the spectral fingers of Betsy Ross’ ghost.
- Tested for Nazi- and Commie-fighting durability by Captain America.
- Design endorsed by Swiftwing, King of All Bald Eagles.
- Approved for Knievel-esque jumps over 4th of July BBQs.
- Each pair exposed to 1,000 continuous hours of Lee Greenwood’s Greatest Hits.
- Makes flatulence smell like mom’s apple pie.
- Must be worn at half mast on Memorial Day.
- Cannot legally be worn until owner recites the Apollo Creed.
And remember, folks. These colors don’t run (unless washed in hot water with whites).
The Facts
Star Spangled Canvas with
Rockets’ Red Glare Liner
HOW DO THEY FIT?
Straight legged, relaxed fit. Not baggy. Fit true to size.
WHAT IF MY INSEAM IS 30″ OR 34″?
We’re a small business, so we offer only a couple of lengths right now. Fortunately, any tailor can hem our pants to a great fit.
HOW DO I CARE FOR THEM?
They’re prewashed. Wash in cold water, tumble dry on low heat.
